Large tumour positive nodes-positive stories needed

Hi ladies

i thought I would lurk around the post treatment section as was hoping someone may have had a similar situation to mine and can offer some hope.  I posted earlier on another section however not many responses.

i was told last week that I have 2a squamous cell with two pelvic nodes involved and that my tumour is about 5-6cm.  My treatment starts on the 4th and is 28 radio, 5 chemo and 4 brachy.

ive been really good with being positive but I'm really struggling today.  I just feel there is no bit of hope to cling to as my tumour is so big and my nodes are involved.  I did the wrong thing by googling and it's eaten away at my positivity now.

i know I'm being selfish looking for words of reassurance and shared experiences but I just feel I'm in a dark hopeless place today and need help getting out of it.  I keep telling myself I'm young and otherwise healthy however today that's not helping me in snapping me out of this depression.


please someone share your story as Google has me thinking there is no hope.


thanks for listening and sorry to be negative 




Hi Kimmy

i can't help i'm afraid but I can point you in the direction of the teal ladies on Facebook. This is closed group so your posts are not public and can only be seen by group members. I am sure people will reply on here but it can't hurt asking for positive stories on there as well. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

Hi kimm. Mine was 5 cm by 1 cm on the lip of my cervix and was classed as a 1b2. My lymph nodes were negative. Is yours a 2a because it has grown into the top of the vagina? I had a radical because I was also pregnant and needed a termination also as they couldn't risk either labouring or two surgeries. I was told it is still very curable tho! 


Much love, helen x

Hi helen

im sorry to hear about ur situation that must have been so difficult.  Mine is 2a as it has started to grow into the vagina.  I think with the size and node involvement in just finding it hard to be positive.

im just having a really bad day and struggling to be positive.  They are telling me the treatment is radicAl and curative but I just have myself in a state.



Hi Kimmy :-)

So sorry to hear you have been having a low day, you really MUST keep away from Google, it's full of goblins! Chemo/radio/brachy are a really good and effective treatment, even when there is a little lymph involvement because the chemo travels everywhere and gets the little bu**ers wherever they might be lurking. There are women on this forum who have made a complete recovery even after having lymph involvement they just tend not to pop in so often. I hope one of them arrives soon enough for you :-)


Be lucky :-)


Poor you - it is a difficult time and there will be lots of ups and downs, but hopefully more ups than downs. 

At least you know what you are dealing with and see it as a challenge.

I am loads older than you and my experience isn't quite the same but there are some similarities.

Firstly, I was reassured to read/hear that a 2a is still considered early stage and there is hope that there won't be a recurrence.

With me, they thought I had 1b1 squamous cell carcinoma and had rad hyst in September last year.  This went well but biopsy showed had spread 1 mm into the upper vagina and they also found lymphatic vascular space invasion which I believe is microscopic cancer cells between lymph and blood vessels - no lymph nodes found. This meant it was a 2a1 (tumour was 4 and half cms). I then opted for chamoradiation plus brachy (25/4 and 2 respectively) and this all ended in January.  So far so good and all clear/in remission - only problem is that I now have lymphodema with cellulitis in one leg - I am not unduly worried about that.

I had lots of convalescence following all the treatment and made sure I did lovely things - weekends away, days out, did some knitting and reading. went to health spa with friends (supportive friends and family are worth their weight in gold) - tried not to watch too much day-time TV but did rest as well.  Make sure you do the things you enjoy and enjoy the things you do.  When cancer comes into my mind (which is usually every day) I just bat it away in my mind as if it were a tennis ball and then forget it.  Yes, there are and will be bad days but this forum is really great if you are feeling low.  Also your cancer nurse can put you in touch with a psychotherapist if needed.

There are loads of people who have positive lymph nodes and have a good outcome.

As Tivoli said the chemoradiation will get rid of the little b*****s!

I am now on a phased return to work (miss my freedom though!) and everyone has been very supportive. 

Looking forward to nice holidays.

Eat and sleep well and do regular exercise - do something sporty and something creative - it will give you a goal. 

Lots of luck with all your treatment.





Hi Kimmy,

I am sorry you are feeling a little down, Dr Google has a tendency too make us feel like that. I was first diagnosed 4a with a 5cm tumour, 2 lymph nodes, bladder and bowel involvement after further investigation it was concluded I was stage 2b still a 5cm tumour with 2 lymph nodes. I had chemoradiation in June and July 2013 and I am delighted to say I had my two year check on Monday and I am still showing no evidence of disease and fighting fit (well almost :) If you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to ask either on the forum or by PM.

Big hugs, Mandy xxx