Just had lletz, feeling dreadful

Hiya,

I haven't stopped crying since getting home from hospital a few hours ago. In January I had a smear that showed HPV 16 high risk & CIN1. I had a colposcopy and biopsy. The biopsy results were inconclusive and so the doctor recommended coming back 6 months later. 2 weeks ago I had another colposcopy, doctor saw some changes and took another biopsy as well as a smear. I went in for the results today and the doctor said the smear shows HPV 16 with moderate changes (last time it showed mild.) He said that the biopsy was again inconclusive so he advised lletz treatment. He said that it could be that the cells that need removing are higher up than where the biopsy was taken, so he said this would be the recommended treatment. I had the treatment and he said I go back for the results in 2 weeks. He said it will either show CIN 1/2 or 3, in which case I would need to go back in 6 months. Or he said it might again show inconclusive again which means I'll need another smear to see if the abnormal cells were removed or not.

I'm feeling SO confused - why can't they tell what it is? Is this a good sign or a bad sign? My mind is all over the place and I'm just feeling too emotional to cope with this. My partner and I really want a baby so the doctor suggested waiting 6 months for the lletz treatment to heal, so I'm hoping and praying that the results don't mean I need further treatment. 

Did anyone have anything similar, any inconclusive results? I wish they could just tell me what it is and if they have got it all. Sorry for my ramble, typing through tears! x

Aug 2013 - turned 25, clear smear result
Jan 2015 - smear taken as part of routine 'full body' health check-up - results show HPV 16 high risk, and CIN 1 confirmed
Jan 2015 - colposcopy, CIN 2 confirmed, biopsy taken - results inconclusive, return in 6 months for another colposcopy
July 2015 - 6 mth repeat colposcopy - abnormal cells seen, biopsy taken, and smear
July 2015 - smear results show HPV 16 moderate changes, biopsy result inconclusive (again) - lletz carried out. 
Awaiting results, due in 2 weeks

Hi ya, I've not had my lletz yet and can't help re inconclusive results but just wanted to say it's all quite an uncertain process until they analyse the lletz sample. My smear said low-grade but colpo says defo high grade, cin 2 and 3- that was without a biopsy so am crapping myself it must be bad! I've also been thinking that if they managed to swab a low-grade bit of my cervix when masses of it are high-grade, what's to say that at my last normal smear, they didn't swab a bit next to it that was already abnormal?! What I'm saying is, it's a shit thing to go through and quite honestly, I don't know how it doesn't send every one of us into crying, emotional crazy-ladies! It sure as hell has had a massive impact on me emotionally and while I know people go through a hell of a lot worse than we are at the moment, there's no shame in finding it really bloody hard. I realised the day after my colpo that I wasn't coping and had to ask my dr to prescribe something for anxiety and to help me sleep. I'm not proud but it is definitely helping!! You've had the lletz now so hopefully you will have your answers soon. Take care and all the very best of luck with your results xx

Thank you for your reply!
Yeh I guess they can't always tell exactly what it is and that makes it so hard, well impossible to try and guess. I went into my appointment yesterday convinced that it would be the same as last time (inconclusive, check-up in 6 months.) So when he said I needed lletz I got really upset. In fact I was so upset that he at first said he'd rather schedule it for another day, but I managed to pull myself together and get it done. What scared me most is that he said even with the biopsy or lletz they can't always find where the abnormalities are coming from - so it might be that I need to have another smear to check further. I really want to just know exactly what the issue is, where it is, and if it's gone :( Sorry for my rambles.. I'm glad you've got something to help with the anxiety - it's definitely worth it, and the least you deserve when going through this horrible stress. I've really tried to stay calm and relax, but at times I just burst into tears at the slightest trigger (like every couple of hours...)
All I've done is read post after post on here. It makes me feel so much less alone!
When are you having your lletz? Good luck!! xXx

Aug 2013 - turned 25, clear smear result
Jan 2015 - smear taken as part of routine 'full body' health check-up - results show HPV 16 high risk, and CIN 1 confirmed
Jan 2015 - colposcopy, CIN 2 confirmed, biopsy taken - results inconclusive, return in 6 months for another colposcopy
July 2015 - 6 mth repeat colposcopy - abnormal cells seen, biopsy taken, and smear
July 2015 - smear results show HPV 16 moderate changes, biopsy result inconclusive (again) - lletz carried out. 
Awaiting results, due in 2 weeks


I had colposcopy last wk and was freaking out so much that she said I shd have lletz under general. I got some pills from my dr the following day and although they've stopped me crying constantly, it's all I can think about so phoned Colpo and if I have local I can get it done Tuesday! I'm still not sure I can go through with it- I go from convincing myself it's cancer and I just want a hysterectomy so it's all over with and convincing myself I only have a 12% chance of cin3 becoming cancer so why am I putting myself through it?! I have been so stupid re obsessively googling, reading studies, even watching lletz videos (why?!!!). I had to tell my boss yesterday and just felt really embarrassed tbh! I keep thinking about afterwards too- despite Colpo nurse playing it down, from what I can make out they will be taking off the whole top of the cervix and I know that the larger the width, the deeper they go too. I've never had bleeding or period problems before and I'm worried that I'm gonna be causing them by doing this. And I do worry that I'll never enjoy sex ever again!! My head is a bloody whirlwind! Xx

Hi Kh27, I somehow missed your reply, sorry! Did you have the lletz treatment yesterday? Hope it went well if you did! Ah, it looks like you did by your history chart. In that case we're both awaiting our results now :) Fingers crossed for both of us!! Any idea how long yours will take? I get mine next Friday at 5pm which feels like FOREVER right now, and I'm a bit of a mess, one minute laughing at the TV and the next minute crying my eyes out. I was halfway through dinner tonight and started almost choking over my tears! My boyfriend literally doesn't know what he's going to get when he walks in the door from work....! I hate this whole no sex thing, I know it's minor in the sense that our health is more important, but I do miss that intimacy. Hope it's back to normal soon!
xXx

Aug 2013 - turned 25, clear smear result
Jan 2015 - smear taken as part of routine 'full body' health check-up - results show HPV 16 high risk, and CIN 1 confirmed
Jan 2015 - colposcopy, CIN 2 confirmed, biopsy taken - results inconclusive, return in 6 months for another colposcopy
July 2015 - 6 mth repeat colposcopy - abnormal cells seen, biopsy taken, and smear
July 2015 - smear results show HPV 16 moderate changes, biopsy result inconclusive (again) - lletz carried out. 
Awaiting results, due in 2 weeks

Hi Sophie, yep I had lletz Tuesday!! Was worse mentally than physically! I know the watery discharge is normal but wtf is it?! Can only think that burns make water leak from flesh?! I don't understand it!! Xx