I finished 5 weeks of chemo and radiotherapy 4 weeks ago for recurrent cervical cancer .
the cancer came back to my left ovary which was removed in July , after the op I had a PET scan which came back clear , I then started the chemo and radio , which has now finished .
My consultant I feel has been very negative , he told me things like "the resolution on the scan is not that great, and if he was a betting man the cancer would be back "
My consultant says he doesn’t plan on scanning me again and will treat me depending on any symptoms I may have , I was very unhappy with this as I mentally needed to know that the treatment had worked especially after the comments he made . He has told me that should the cancer return a 3 rd time I will be treated palliativly,
Obviously upset by this I discussed it with my GP who agreed that for reassurance , he would arrange a CT scan , which he kindly did and I had last Friday , so I am just waiting for the results .
physically I’m ok but mentally I’m finding it hard that this cancer may be back for the 3rd time and that I’ll then be palliative , I can’t stop thinking I don’t have long left, that I’m going to leave my children without a mother , I’m also going to a grandma in April and the grand old age of 42 !! And that my grandchild will never remember me . I know there are people a lot worse off than me right now but mentally I can’t stop these thoughts of that I’m going to die soon , I’m on the edge of tears a lot . I’ve refered my self for some counselling and hoping this will help my thoughts , and I have decided to go back to work next month and try to live as normal life as possible , i know I’m very lucky that the recurrence has been treated as curative this time and that it was caught early , I just want to be able to mentally feel better .
Thanks for reading .