Just diagnosed 😢

Yesterday I went for a gynaecology appointment due to heavy bleeding and pain in pelvic and lower back and on examination the doctor found a mass and said it was cancer. I am so scared and frightened. I’m also autistic so finding this information very hard to process. He said it’s treatable and I’m going to die anytime soon which I guess is reassuring but I’m scared the scans will come back that it’s spread which is what is causing pain in my lower back and pelvic.

The cancer nurse will call me on Tuesday to see how I am as I was in so much shock I couldn’t stand and my toes and hands went completely numb. The doctor said I should get a mri and ct scan appointment in the next 2 weeks and next Friday my case will be discussed. Does anyone know what they talk about all I could ask the doctor was am I gonna die. He’s also sent off 3 biopsy’s which could take 4 weeks but he’s already told me it’s cancer so I guess it’s to see what type. He also told me to cancel my holiday and he’ll send me a letter etc for that.

I am at complete loss and regret that one bad experience when they tried to do a smear years and years ago to make me so scared that I avoided having. I feel like an idiot and am blaming myself.

Also is it normal to have bad pelvic and back cramps after a biopsy? I woke up at 1am in pain and haven’t been able to get back to sleep.

Hi! @emma8330

Not knowing your cancer stage can be terrible. I am 41 yrs old and I am 3C1. The waiting game is excruciating because your mind goes spiraling downwards. Please dont over think or read the internet too much as your case is unique. Only listen to your doctors and nurses as they know your personal treatment plan! When I found out about my stage 3C1 I panicked but guess what cervical cancer is considered curable and science and medicine today is amazing! Lots of lovely women here are going through various stages and talking to us all will help you a great deal more.

About the cramps and pain - No I did not have any such symptoms! I have heard of women being stage one and they had cramps, back ache etc and I also know women including myself who were at stage 3 and barely had symptoms.

I am always here if you want to chat and sending you positive vibes and strength!

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Thank you for your reply, I think because I’ve never had a smear the tumour is probably stage 4 or even worse. I’m also 41 with an 18 year old daughter so I’m masking and pretending I’m ok in front of her and family when inside tbh I’m falling apart. The macmillan nurse is calling tomorrow but I don’t even know what to say to her. Will she know when I will be given appointments for my scans etc? I’m confused by the whole process and what happens next. The doctor said he can’t tell me what my treatment is till he has all the information but said it’s treatable and I won’t be dying anytime soon but part of my head can’t believe him. Why was this tumour not picked up when I had an internal scan in January? I’m a mess :cry:

Hi @emma8330
Your doctors are right and listen to them. I also never in my life had a pap smear which is why I was at stage 3C1. But if you doctor is saying there is hope then you can hope !!!

I am all the way in USA in New York and your doc is correct when he said he wont know until scans come out. Just like you my doctor had to arrange the scans and I had to wait. They kinda know whether the situation is urgent or no.If you dont hear from anyone about an appointment in 48 hours you can always call them and check. Its kinda fast here, I knew in 5 days what my staging was . I am not sure what its like in the UK!
And yes we have to wear masks for our children, parents and jobs but how strong are you to do that? The strongest person is the one who cares about others feelings when they are down. I know we did not ask for this strength but trust me you will get through this with all of us beside you! So right now as horrid as you feel, talk to us, take care of yourself and be on top of your appointments and get them done. You will feel a whole lot better once you hear from your medical team and you have a treatment plan in place!

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I was told I should get an appointment for my scans within 2 weeks, I’m hoping it will be quicker than that and I’ll ask the nurse tomorrow if she knows anything more, part of me also doesn’t want to know stage I’m at either. I’ll have my mum with me at my appointments because I’m not very good with processing information. I’m just very angry at myself for letting it get to this stage and that I’ve had to cancel mine and my daughter’s dream holiday again (was cancelled due to covid) when we had been looking forward to it and I feel like a bad parent for letting her down. I said we can rebook for next year but deep down I’m scared whatever treatment I have doesn’t work but I need something to look forward to.

I keep asking myself why me?

@emma8330 Everything you are feeling is valid. I had to cancel my trip this July too. For the 3rd year, covid, then job issues and now CC.But we just have to power through this time. I feel doctors don’t give false hopes. If your doctors said their will be a treatment then there will be.
I was going nuts too while waiting for my staging. I so badly wanted it to be stage 0 but when I got my staging of 3 the docs still had a plan. Today morning was my first radiation already!

I feel they tell you 2 weeks because that’s the max amount of time but I know they will get back to you even earlier. Trust me as each day goes by you will be getting closer to victory and hope. So hang in there. Lots of women respond beautifully to cervical cancer treatment. In the mean time pay attention to your diet and go for walks .

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I just got my CT scan appointment for this Friday, hoping my MRI comes just as quick. Woke up this morning with doomsday feelings that I haven’t been able to shake. I have no motivation to do anything, I was also already tired before this diagnosis but I’m now exhausted. Hope my body is ready to fight this.

I had already gone into the hospital with cold toes so this just made it worse. Was horrible and I’m scared of feeling like that again.

Also my nurse never called me today which is a bit disappointing, I sat by my phone all day waiting and nothing. Hoping I haven’t been forgotten about.

@emma8330 There you go @emma8330 ! See you did not have to wait 2 weeks…you are already on your way to get those scans!
Yes i cried on my way to the MRI and Pet Scans. Just sitting in the waiting rooms and crying like ‘how the hell did I end up here’? But you will do it. You will be amazed at how you just keep going at it like a marathon and you just will wanna power through it and get to the finishing line. Of course we are not so graceful along the way. I feel anger, sadness, excitement and we will have science and wonderful doctors to run with us and show us the way. Trust the experts emma and have faith in yourself.
Don’t forget just as you are writing so many women are going through the same emotions as you are , some at even an earlier stage than yours and some ahead of yours!

I had my first chemo today. I had been dreading this since day 1 of diagnosis but it got done. I am feeling the tiredness but me doing every little thing I can physically and mentally is the ‘fight’ part. You can do this! I am with you and so is everyone else here!

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