Treatment starts on Monday and this I'm fine with.
However I'm struggling now that I have no horse to keep me busy. Today has been horrible, just horrible. I have had my specialist nurses words running round in my head. Until yesterday I had a weekend away halfway through treatment to look forward to that has now gone down the pan, it wasn't anything extravagant but it was something to look towards. My social circle is going on that weekend away, including OH, and now the kids and i will be staying at home, feeling even more isolated .Everyone around me has something to look forward to and a hobby/interest to focus on and I'm feeling lost. Of course I'm lucky to have the kids .
I was warned that people's true colours would shine through during all this.......and oh how true!! Those you think you know suddenly change for the worse. For the first time today, on this roller coaster, I have felt completely alone. My OH ( who has been amazing) is struggling with the blubbing mess that today is me.
Please someone hit me with a big stick and knock the real me back to the front, I want this.me to do 1 along with the cc.
Sorry for the rant and hope you are all doing okay xx