Just been diagnosed - emotional wreck!!

Yesterday I received my CC diagnosis after being called back to see the consultant following a Lletz biopsy. They called me back into clinic rather than posting any results out so I suspected it was going to be bad news but it still came as a huge shock!! I have no idea what stage its at yet, going for an MRI scan tomorrow morning and back to see consultant early next week to discuss treatment plan so all moving fast which is good but still cant help feeling sad, angry, and scared! Sad at the thought of not being around to see my little boy grow up, sad that its unlikely we will be able to have more children, angry that its happening at all especially as i have always attended for cervical screening and had a clear result just over 3 years ago, and scared at the thought of what is still to come treatment-wise! Has anyone else had a similar experience where they have gone from clear smear to cancer in such a short space of time? What stage did it reach and what treatment did you/are you having? We had hoped to have another baby (had two miscarriages last year) but its now looking increasingly unlikely! Any advice or info would be really appreciated, thanks!!

Hi Mrsm 

Sorry about ur diagnosis but I know exactly how u are feeling..I was in ur position last September. .I too had only had a smear the April before (all clear)..I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma which I'm told does not get picked up in smears..like u I was angry upset ..feeling every emotion possible but it does get easier..after scans I was staged 2a2 with lymph involvement. .I had 25 sessions of radiotherapy, 5 chemotherapy and 3 brachytherapy. .as soon as u know what stage u are are and ur treatment plan I can honestly say it gets easier to accept...this page had been a godsend for me ..the ladies are so helpful so if u need to know anything  don't be afraid to ask xx

Thanks so much for sharing your experience too, hearing of others who have been through or are going through the same thing is such a help at this time! I know its a treatable cancer but its such a worrying/anxious time but you have already been a big help! 

My last  smear was  2 n half  yrs before. I was  diagnosed  my stage  was 3b i had  25 radio 5  chemo  3 brachy  plz remember  cericval  cancer is very  curable plz ask all ur questions  here  n avoid Google  this site  as been lik  a life line  to me  xxx

Hi Ladies

i too have just been diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. I had my MRI and CT scan today and I'm waiting for grading. I'm also angry as I have been under my local hospital for 2 years and they missed this totally and were treating me for an ectropion. I got fed up of waiting for an Ablation so decided to go private as I have been bleeding daily for 2 years. Was totally shocked when the private consultant immediatly diagnosed cancer. It's helpful to think I have people to understand how I'm feeling on this forum,

julie 

I had a smear March 2013 and was diagnosed stage 4a in nov/Dec 2015. I had been going to the Dr with problems for around 18m so I understand your frustration. 

However, after having treatment that wasn't as bad as I'd feared I am over a year post treatment with 4 clear scans.

This forum is amazing ladies.

Philleepa thank you for sharing with me. That has helped make things clear in my mind. 2 years seems such a long time without treatment. I am prepared for bad news when I recieve my grading and apprehensive of the treatment. I will certainly keep writing on this forum as reading everyone's messages has really helped give me hope,

julie 

Mrs M and Julie, at least you know that on this forum we have all been through being given the dreaded diagnosis and have got through to this stage. Whatever the circumstances the feelings of shock, sadness and anger are nearly always there. But you will hopefully find that fight in you that will take you to the next stage. Stick with us all and you will be supported through this. Good luck to you both as you go through the next steps. The treatment is doable and you will get through this. X

thank you Rachel it's good to be able to talk to people who are going through this journey as looking on Google scared the life out of me and my family.

julie

Hi everyone, I am in the same position as you...always clear smears visited gp for post coital bleeding and she diagnosed an erosion...had a smear fee months later and that came back with borderline cells so was sent for colposcopy and thenounch biopsy from that came back with cin 2..the mdt then decided to give me a lletz and thank goodness they did as on Feb 23rd that can back saying I had cc! It's completely floored me and my family..I'm a mum of 4 and the thought of not being around to see them progress in life is destroying me! I have my first appointment tomorrow at the hospital that is going to treat me..ive hears nothing for a month not even the results from my scans so I'm terrified what they are going to tell me...and to top it all off we have our first family holiday booked and to to Majorca on April 20th so I'm hoping they will allow me to go on that..I don't know which way forward for me it will be yet..initially on the day I was told I had cc a hysterectomy was mentioned but that wasn't by the hospital that I'm under now...wondering how I'm going to find the strength to drive a hour and a half to this hospital to hear what they've got planned for me but I'm going to try and give myself a good talking to later... this forum helps me massively and I cannot say a. If enough Thankyou to everyone. 

Good luck in your journey everyone...we've got this!

kay xx

We certainly  have Kay. Whatever the results  we have to remember it is treatable and we are strong enough to fight this,

take care 

julie 

Thank you so much ladies for your advice, support and words of encouragement! Things have sunk in a bit more today, had my MRI scan this morning which was an experience!! I was a bit nervous beforehand but relieved when it was over and kind of pleased that finally things were happening after weeks of waiting for biopsy results and knowing deep down it was going to be bad news! Ive also had a bit of a cry today while watching my little boy playing (he's 3 and a half), as I have no idea how advanced the CC is yet and am so scared its going to be even more bad news when I meet with oncologist again early next week! I need to fight this and stay strong for my little family but also having moment of complete weakness too....I know it will get easier, and this forum is amazing as a source of support, thanks so much!! Xx

Hi MrsM

im sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with cc. What you are experiencing is totally normal. You will have good days and hard days.

Once you know your treatment things do settle down. You have to teach yourself ways to overcome sadness after you have allowed yourself to get it out(crying) and then be able to not totally sink in to it. The hardest part of a cancer diagnosis is the mental part. People stay focused on the physical aspect but forget the mental side. It is a process that takes time to go through. 

Try to make sure you are getting enough sleep as that makes a huge difference. lastly, you are not going anywhere anytime soon so enjoy your LO

Hi Mrs M,

I like you have had numerous clear smears and at my last smear I started bleeding so they sent me for colposcopy and a biopsy was taken and then I got my cancer diagnosis. My mri and petscan were clear so was given a stage of 1b. I had a hysterectomy and lympnode dissection. One lympnode came back positive so I'm currently going through chemo/rads. The treatment isn't as bad as you expect. I'm doing quite well just very tired from radio. 

Once you get your treatment plan things will get easier.

Remember cervical cancer is very treatable even at stage 4 people have been cured.

We are all here for you.

Its so reassuring to hear from other ladies going through a similar experience, honestly this forum is proving to be an absolute Godsend! Thank you all for having the courage to share, Im finding it to be my go to place at the times when I can feel myself stressing or getting emotional, rather than being tempted to google too much and read what is probably a lot of unhelpful stuff thats out there! Ive got my next meeting with consultant next Tuesday afternoon, now she's seen my MRI images and has decided on a plan of action, anxious about what the scans show but nothing is going to change by worrying I guess, I will just have to face whats coming and beat this!! Thanks again ladies, love to you all xx

Hi Ladies

I have a anxious week ahead with consultation with my consultant to discuss my MRI and CT results and first meet with my Oncology Consultan. Keeping positive and ready to fight this,

take care

julie

Hi julie, that's exactly what my day consisted of yesterday...I was so nervous but they all put me to ease straight away..I had written down questions I had on the advice of some lovely ladies on here and I found this a massive help because as soon as my oncologist started talking it felt like I blanked out so taking someone else with you is a very good  idea as well so they can do all the listening for you....lots of luck for next week and keep us posted how you get on

stay strong

kay x

Hi Kay

ive been writing questions and on the advice of my radiologist I'm keeping a diary as she said you will forget everything because your mind is so full

when do you start treatment?

julie

I think im going to start a diary too because my head feels so full at the moment I think it will help me process it all and sort through it, also plan to write some questions down before my next meeting with the consultant on Tuesday afternoon as everything seems so overwhelming when im in there! Just wondering if you ladies had any symptoms before diagnosis or was it a case of picked up at latest smear? Im worrying myself silly ahead of knowing for sure what stage im at, I had a post coital bleed early last summer, as it followed quite soon after a miscarriage we thought no more of it, then everything settled down, regular periods etc but then heavy and irregular periods since November following a second miscarriage, just hope its early enough to treat!! Thanks again for your advice and support ladies xx

Hi

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I just wanted to say my previous smear 2013 was clear and I attended all my appointments so I know how frustrated you must feel. I had a radical trachelectomy which preserved my fertility and the possibility of carrying a child. I had an abdominal incision which was hard but most people on here seem to have had it done key hole. I hope they can give you more answer soon! I know how hard waiting is! xx