This is going to seem like a really small and insignificant thing but I just needed to write it down and share is somewhere where people would understand (my co-workers are lovely but they'll think I'm nuts!).
My work is pretty chilled out so I can have my phone on my desk. I just had a call from an unknown number that I only saw (my phone's on silent so was just flashing) towards the end of the call. I immediately felt sick and scared and my head started spinning. Then the little 'you have a voicemail' icon popped up. I'm still shaking.
Basically, my problem is although I've been discharged for a checkup with my GP in 6 months (roll on March!!) I'm still terrified everytime a private number or even a number I don't know calls me. I think somehow the hospital are calling me to tell me they made a mistake with my resutls.
I know it's totally ridiculous and I need to chill out about the whole thing and it's definitely not healthy lol, but I just can't stop my reaction! Has anyone got any tips on how to control my ridiculous mind? lol.
Becky x x x
Lovey, I don't think it's silly at all. I feel like I've spent the last couple of months terrified of the postman, and getting that horrible feeling in your stomach every time an unknown number pops up on your phone.
I was waiting for my results whilst I was looking for a new flat - letting agents kept ringing and I nearly had a bloody heart attack!!
Also, once you get the clear I think everyone feels you've moved on, but it's not as easy as that when it's happened to you. Im finding it quite tough at the moment to move on
I think you just need to work through it and not expect too much of yourself
Take care C x
Hey Becky, just wanted to echo what hula hoop said - this is perfectly normal given what we have all gone through/are going through. I never would have thought that unknown numbers or envelopes with NHS logos on them could instil so much fear and panic. I think it is something that will get better with time. I also forcibly try to suppress the panic/think logically/empty my head of negative thoughts in order to stop getting unnecessarily stressed. Avoiding stressing yourself out isn't something that just happens but is something you have to train yourself to do. So next time you get an unknown number calling you, take a deep breath - chances are it will just be a sales call!! XXX
*big hugz* I think it's perfectly understandable! You have been through a traumatic time and it has felt like things have spun totally out of your control. It will take a while for the world to start spinning on its' normal axis again for you. You are suffering from what I've seen referred to on another site as "cancer head", which is a natural reaction to cancer or a cancer scare. From all accounts, it does get better with time. You need to be patient and understanding with yourself. Acknowledge your fears and then tell them that they are not helpful and that you won't entertain them. I find self talk really helpful, but only if I do it in a loving and caring way. Telling yourself it's small and insignificant and silly isn't helpful. You need to reassure yourself that you are all clear now, and that is what matters. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend who was going through the same thing. I'm sure you wouldn't tell them they were nuts. You would listen and care and reassure them.
*more big hugz*
I totally understand! After getting the letter about my abnormal smear then waiting...and waiting..on a letter for my coloscopy (whihc got delivered to the wrong address argh!) I still have postman dread! it got to the point where I was dreading coming home to find the mail, and if I got a letter I didn't recognise, I was shaking so badly my boyfriend had to open it for me!! It's really hard.