Irregular bleeding, bleeding when having a poo (sorry)

Hi ladies, 

so basically I’m 31, in 2011, my first smear. They found  cancerous cells (severe) I had them removed by letz, I think that’s what it’s called. The next one was all clear. Had 2 children since. And stupidly not gone back until 2 days ago, I have Gone to book a test a few times since my last daughter was born (15 months) but every time I’ve been bleeding which was the start of the worry. My periods before my daughter were like clockwork. Same date exactly every month and for the same amount of time/days etc. though always been heavy, I was put on the pill at 14 for heavy periods. 

When I went for my smear on Wednesday she said my cervix was really soft literally bled as soon as she touched it. Also that there was not much of it there after the last procedure. 

been bleeding after sex, and the past few days since the smear, when I go for a number 2 I’m bleeding also which is new. I know I’m never gunna really know until all my results come in but I’m just wondering what you had symptom wise. I’m kicking myself so much for not going sooner but I always thought you couldn’t go when bleeding and that’s all I’ve done lately. the doc has also referred me to gynocologist to explore all options as she said there is definitely something not right. It’s going to be a long wait for results 3 weeks she thinks. I cant sleep thinking and googling. My dad died of cancer at 58 5 years ago. I don’t want to talk to my partner to worry him if it’s not needed. But also feel bad for even writing this if it’s nothing. Though the nurse clearly thinks there’s something up.