Insensitive pig

So have all the worries of waiting for biopsies following abnormal smear (moderate) and colposcapy and I have to also cope with an insensitive f****** of a husband. He suffers from depression and paranoid personality so now he's assuming I have this because I mut be a cheat and therefore this is karma. I'm furious with him. I need support and instead I get this s***. I already don't sleep, feel stressed and my hair seems to be falling out more than normal and am just fed up of it all. He expects me to be there for him with his depression and difficulty with coping with things but when the proverbial hits the fan for me this is what I get. Feeling so very low at the moment :(


how would he respond to you leaving some literature about cc around for him to read? The sort that points out how long it takes to develop! 

You don't need that at this time.

Molly x

Thanks for rreplying. I've already told him this but once he gets an idea in his head it's very hard to shift, in part because of a denial on his part of his problems. Literature might help but would he read it, who knows. Sometimes feel I've the weight of the world on my shoulders trying to carry the burden of all his crap as well as my own. For once I just needed him to be there for me and not think about himself but alas was not to be :(

I read this and my initial thought was 'what a tit', how he can even think its down to past history and say you deserve it is beyond words.....

Obviously he has some issues going on which you described, but even so, as an adult he should know what this mean and be there for you 100%

Hope he bucks his ideas up and is there for you, when you need him to be, like you are for him.

Ive been very lucky in that respect, I have a husband who is turning out to my surprise to be a rock

Good luck

Debs x


That's a very very sick thing to say, I really feel for you. He cannot use depression as a reason for saying such a thing to you.

Don't make excuses for him - that kind of "support" is wrong full stop. You need to look after yourself and your own mental health.

I feel that way. I'm very angry with him. Told him he needs to grow up and stop being so selfish. I've never been so hurt as when he said that to me. 


Maybe it would help if you both went in to talk to with your GP

or CNS.Sometimes hearing it straight from them helps,takes out the emotion.

I understand totally the difficulty of coping with someone with

deppression/mental health issues.The innability to empathise and

face traumatic situations without pointing blame is

(as you probably know all too well) part of the illness.

You are not strong enough to carry both of you through this.

Anger is so exausting at the best of times.

Macmillan are fantastic with this type of thing.Give them ago.

I really hope you get some help ASAP.

Look after yourself.

Becky x

Thank you for your reply. It is incredibly difficult to cope with, there are good days and bad days and if he would come with me it might well be an idea. I just get so very frustrated. We have been together for so many years and have been through ups and downs but the depressionus certainly the black cloud in our relationship. I told him today that I can't do this anymore, I already have enough stress in my life. 

His mother her often says to me that I'm strong to have stayed through everything and I must love him very much and I do, but my patience, so little of it left is wearing so thin now. I don't have the strength anymore. I'm so tired and have enough stress at work without having to deal with it at home, that's not to mention my constant fear about biopsy results and what this might mean for my and ultimately our future. I will get through this though, all of you have been lovely in your responses to me and have given me food for thought xxx