In a panic

Hi again ladies,

I am nearly 5 weeks post treatment for adenosquamous stage 2 cc. I have been feeling ok, although had the ususal fears about treatment not working etc. The nearer it gets to my check up at the end of the month the more scared I am getting:(

Had my app with my nurse specialist last week and that was good. She kind of put things into perspective for me. Someone I know passed away from breast cancer the day before my app so I was a wreck when I went to see her. I had it in my head that when I go for my check up my doc will say it's gone or there is nothing else we can do:( She said it's not as black and white as that.

I think my body is still settling down from all the treatment but any ache or pain sends me into a panic. I think I am not coping so well mentally with all of this. Just cant seem to be positive anymore when I was in the beginning.

Thanks for listening to me go on. My wee place for a rant. Be lost without it.




Hi Kim,

I start my treatment on 8/11 (thurs) and although I am positive now, I fully appreciate from reading your story that I will have much the same fears as you do.  I know life will be so different and I imagine there will be good and bad days although until I get through treatment, I have no idea how I'll feel really and honestly.  You have been through such a difficult time and you have jumped that massive hurdle so you need to get your emotional and physical strength back to jump another at the end of the month - the waiting is cruel and thats what I dread the most as at least having treatment, you have a focus and a goal - to get through! How do you feell physically, still tired or are you able to keep busy with different stuff?  I think you are amazing and hope that I will be able to cope as we all you have done and continue to do - its ladies like you that keep me smiling, positive and hopeful.

I also have adenosquamous and I'm not sure how I feel about it being more rare than other types or how it acts be honest I try not to think about it and just cnt wait to take some control back later this week. 

You need to be a little selfish and take time for you right now.  We will all just send you positive thoughts in the meantime in the hope that you start to feel less anxious soon and that you get those fantastic 2 little words at the end of the month.

I'm not really sure what I can say to make you feel more positive - maybe nothing but I hope you feel you have been listened to and you know that we are all here rooting for you Kim.  Keep strong!


love and best wishes



Hi Kim,

What you're feeling is totally normal! I had my 2 year check-up on Monday and had to see my GP beforehand to get some diazepam to help me cope! I was all over the place. I went on a good course at the local hospice when I finished treatment called 'Cancer...the next step' and it really helped me put things into perspective. You might find that your local hospice runs something similar...

Big hugs,

Ceri xx