I'm never going to be finished with this!

Have had to skip ANOTHER chemo because of my wbc count this week. Apparently last weeks shot did nothing to raise it, it just went lower. I already have anxiety for my first brachy tomorrow. But it looks like I’ll be having to do chemo and brachy together which I’m not happy about! In between brachy days I will go for Neupogen shots. I started chemo August 9th and I have only managed to get 4 of the 6 in. I thought today would be the last one. But no, and she’s aiming for 6 again! I just want to cry.

Oh you poor thing! I haven't even started yet, so I can't really say much. I do think though, that if you can find a positive in this, it's that they are continuing to throw everything at this and not letting your wbc get in the way - they are finding ways to try and solve the problem and make sure you get as much treatment as possible...in the nicest possible way, they are obviously keen to see the back of you! It must be so hard, but if the medical team are sticking to their guns and trying to outwit cc then try to stay resilient (sorry, much easier said than done and feel free to remind me I said this when I'm in the middle of treatment and you're all done). Good luck with the brachy - it sounds terrifying, but I've read a few positive posts about it not being as bad as expected and my nurse actually said most of the women she sees say it was nowhere near as awful as they expected. Huge virtual hugs being sent across the forum...

Anne x

Hi hon

its ok don't panic!!!!! You are so close to the end and although you might be having some setbacks it will soon be over. 

Your wbc will bounce back eventually and you will get through this! It's hard when you get your mind on one thing and your body wants to do something else. 

Brachy is not that bad,  I had great nurses that were so wonderful and helpful, hopefully you will have a good experience too. Try, try to stay positive even when all hell breaks loose. You really do not know how strong you are until you have to be!! 

Soon you will be done treatment and will start to feel like you again. The finish line is right in front of you. The last leg of the race is the hardest so you do have to push yourself. You can do this!!!!

im cheering you on!!! 

We're all cheering you on girl!!

Stay strong xxx 

Braccy is honestly not the awful experience we all think it's going to be, honestly. 

The end of your treatment is in sight and you're on you're way to feeling well again and regaining your life x x 

Let us know how you get on x 

I am so sorry to hear what a rough ride you are having. You WILL get through this. You have been really unlucky so far, I hope you find as most of us do that the brachy isn't as bad as you imagine it will be. And if you've got to be motionless on a bed for that why not get the chemo done at the same time? It gives you more time off for real life :-)


Well as of my first brachy today, I prefer it over the chemo and Neupogen shots! I posted on my first experience as well, so hopefull it will help others that are as scared as I was.