I'm at a loss and can't cope

I am waiting for my colposcopy results after a lletz 3 weeks ago tomorrow. I had a smear with high grade dys. I am pretty sure it will come back as cancerous. The colposcopist nurse who performed the procedure wouldn’t tell me what she’d seen. She said she would call me in 2 weeks with the result, I called her last week to chase them up but nothing back yet.

While she was kind and understanding I felt like I was being patronised, as if I was a kid who wouldn’t cope with bad news. She just would not answer any of my questions directly, very vague.

It’s maybe that I am really thick and just didn’t take in what she was telling me. She said something about cells higher up and that she can’t see them so needs to wait for results. Does that mean the layers of skin or is it up inside the cervix? Also does anyone know if cancer cells can be seen during a colposcopy?

I’m going out my mind with worry and I am shaking writing this. I just can’t cope anymore. I am also loosing my memory quite a lot.

God I sound like a right nutter!!

Hi Hun hope you're ok. I too am waiting for my lletz results! It's a nightmare...one minute I'm fine the next I'm literally bricking it! My smear also came back high grade so you aren't alone there. I also didn't really get told alot at colposcopy just that they had found precancerous cells on my smear, so she performed the treatment, said she had taken everything away she could see and that I would get my results in 4-6 weeks.

Tbh from what I've read on these forums I think the nurses/doctors are pretty vague and I don't think they are really allowed to say much incase they are wrong in what they are saying.

I'm unsure with the cells being further up as I don't have this (I don't think) but I'm sure some of the lovely ladies on here will be come along with a similar situation to yours and be able to give you some advice!

Also..no news is good news. I have found the longer ladies have been waiting the better their results have been.

I know it's hard but try and keep yourself busy to take your mind off things. Fingers crossed and I hope you get your results back soon and they are all ok! xx


Hi Meg

Thank you for your kind words of reassurance. It really helps to know I'm not alone although I wouldn't wish this on anyone, you know what I mean? 

Yes it's a nightmare isn't it? Like you I can be ok then next thing I know I'm panicking and freaking out. Common sense tells me I'm probably over analysing what docs/nurses say, dissecting every word or look they give lol. 

I suppose you're right that no news is good news, the longer the better. 

I hope everything works out ok for you too Meg :) 

Roxy X 


Hi Roxy, 

You are definitely not alone through this. It was my first smear too and I had my Lletz two weeks ago today and my colposcapist nurse said very similar to me. I was treated for high grade abnormal cells but then after the treatment she said there was more cells higher up which I think are glandular cells, very similar to the abnornal cells on the cervix just higher up the cervix. I have no idea if she managed to remove them in the treatment or not. 

its all very scary but I think we automatically think the worst and start preparing ouselves just incase. I'm constantly staring at my phone at work, checking emails, my heart is beating when checking the post. Its awful. 

I really hope you get your results soon and you can relax. Send me a message if you ever want to talk or vent. I think talking about it helps so much, I feel worse when I keep it all in. 


Hi Meg

Congrats on your results :) I was confirmed as CIN 3 clear margins on Friday! 

And breath..... What a relief

Roxy X

Hi Ruby

My internets been off so sorry for the late reply.

I got my results on Friday and it's CIN 3, clear margins. phew! 

Have you heard any news yet? I really hope you have and it's good news.

I find that talking about it helps too, I even had a good few cries to myself! It lets it all out :)  This site and the forum has been a godsend to me these last few months. 

Roxy X