Im 31 and I was told yesterday that after my laser and biopsys last week all 3 of my biopsys showed the cells had already turned to cancer. I'm still pretty much stunned and feel quite numb if that makes sense. The doctor said that I will have an MRI in feb to see if it has spread from the cervix and only after the scan will I be told how bad it is and what treatment I'm going to have. I'm still none the wiser to how far it's gone and this waiting us going drive me mad, I've got to wait until the 25th as he said I need to heal properly from the laser as it can give false results on MRI. It still doesn't feel like its happening to me to be honest x
Hi Rebecca, I understand how you feel, getting your diagnosis is really one of the scariest moments of your life. I know I felt numb, scared, angry, in total shock, hysterical at times. I think every emotion you have runs through you at some point. If one more person had said to me at the time 'your going to be ok don't worry' I think I would have punched them. Only you can understand how you feel and how this will affect you. The important thing to remember is this is treatable cancer and look at how many women are on this forum, all still 'here'after their treatment. Try to think that at least now the doctors know they can do something about it, thank god now and not 6 months or a year down the line. Just take each day or hour as it comes and do what YOU want to do.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling like it's happening to someone else - that's how I felt, it was very surreal - you'll probably feel like that for a while. Hearing the news that you've got cancer is a shock, and it's very difficult to take on board, so it's completely understandable that you feel numb. It's really important to be patient with yourself - you need kindness and gentleness right now.
The waiting is very difficult, especially for staging - it's perfectly natural for worse case scenario to run through your mind, but try and keep in mind that this is extremely unlikely. If they thought you had a late stage tumour they wouldn't be waiting until 25th to MRI you, loop wound or not, and the likelihood is that you would be experiencing significant physical symptoms if that was the case. I do understand though - I had exactly the same worries and fears.
You will probably go through all sorts of different emotions and might feel very vulnerable - that's ok - it really is a roller coaster and however you feel is however you feel. Please remember you are not alone, Rebecca. Having been in your position in October, I feel for you so much and there will be lots of other women here who feel that way too. As Louloupop said, look at how many women have had this shitty cancer and are still here to talk about it - I'm one of them, and you will be too.
Hi Rebecca - I was incorrectly staged due to an inaccurate MRI, probably because i had the scan quite soon after my LLETZ. As a result I had a lot more heartache and fear than was necessary and was lucky not to end up with more aggressive treatment than I needed. It all worked out ok in the end, I’m pleased to say. I know waiting is horrible, but if some patience now will give you a more accurate diagnosis, it’s worth it, believe me. Best of luck sweetheart. X
I was diagnosed at the same age, last summer. It’s the most scary thing ever. All you can think is the worst, that’s natural.
I dove myself insane for weeks awaiting both diagnosis (I was given a big hint that it was bad at colposcopy) and staging. I think it was probably the worst time in my life to date.
You can’t make time pass quicker, but I made a conscious decision to carry on regardless, I spent time doing things I love, partying and generally enjoying myself with friends and family, who, until diagnosis was confirmed and staged, were non the wiser what I was privately dealing with.
For me, the waiting was worse than anything. My staging was early and I was lucky to have a simple op. waiting for post-op results was torturous, but looking back now it is all starting to feel like a bad memory. I can’t believe I had cancer a few months ago!
I really hope your path is as easy as mine has been. Waiting is the worst. You’ll find the strength to deal with your diagnosis and treatments, whatever that is, and you’ll find heaps of support here on Jo’s.
