I think I’ve passed on HPV to my partner before I got the HPV diago

I am really worried …
I received the results of smear test which shared positive result for HPV and I have an appointment to have cyloscopy in early August

The problem is I have been with a wonderful new boyfriend for 5 months not knowing I was positive- and we haven’t always used condoms.

This week I’ve noticed a spot on his lip and I think it could be oral HPV… I’m out of my mind with worry … that I could have passed this onto him unknowingly and also if I have given him oral HPV what treatment is available? Had this happened to any one else?

If you look at the statistics (for example the Centers for Disease Control CDC) you will see the statement: “ HPV is so common that nearly all sexually active men and women get the virus at some point in their lives.” Cancers in men due to the HPV virus are very, very rare and only likely if they have a compromised immune system, are HIV positive or have AIDS - and if they contract particular variants. There is not only one variant of HPV. Having the HPV virus for a woman is also not an assurance that you will get abnormal cells or cancer; there are many mitigating factors and most women will be able to defeat the virus and some may never know they were infected at some point in time.

There are many reasons for spots on the lip - it COULD be a wart but if it looks like a sore and is painful it’s more likely to be the HSV (herpes simplex virus) otherwise known as a cold sore, and there are over the counter medications that can treat this easily.

If your boyfriend is concerned he can always have it checked out by a health professional but please don’t ruin your chance of happiness worrying about things that may be imaginary and have not been proven. Sounds like you’ve met a great guy and he’s not going to take it badly if you tell him you’ve got the HPV virus - especially if he sees how common it is!


Hi Anew123

I don’t know enough to properly answer your concerns. As Jacks133 suggests your boyfrined could see a health professional if he’s concerned and/or you might want to consider using ‘ask the expert’ service on this website for advice

My reason for posting is about a similar experience I had where the spot on the lip was a cold sore caused by a Herpes virus (nothing to do with HPV) - I don’t think it’s the same strain of Herpes as the one that can occur on the genitals but if it were me I would refrain from any oral sex (either way) until you know what’s causing the spot or it disappears. And again if it were me I wouldn’t kiss anyone if I thought there was a possibility of a cold sore on the lips.



I just wanted to say I’ve been in a fairly similar place around the anxiety of all this in the middle of a new relationship - I had an HPV positive smear test (with abnormal cells which eventually turned out to be CIN2 after biopsy and which I had burned off yesterday) barely three months into a new relationship with a guy who, at the risk of sounding like the starry-eyed teenager I’m definitely not lol, has turned out to be absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I knew all the sensible things about HPV and even abnormal cells, but it still utterly crushed me, just not knowing how much he would know/understand about it and not wanting to be the one bringing a problem into the relationship. So I get how you’re feeling and I think it’s understandable when confronted with something you haven’t had personal experience of before.

But the reality is HPV is so common that you can basically consider anyone who has ever had sexual contact, not even full sex, to have it or to have had it in the past. And no method of contraception protects from HPV. I didn’t realise that because I just hadn’t had reason to think about it in such detail.

I know where it came from doesn’t matter - I could have had it for years despite all my previous smears being clear, or I could have caught it from my new partner, but it’s not about blame as we’ll never know. But the reality of my positive test means that regardless of who had it first, we almost certainly both have it, despite always using condoms.

And of course almost straight after I figured that all out, I noticed a little sore spot on his lower lip and had this flood of panic, especially over having had unprotected oral sex. It healed up in a few days and was never seen again - he’d just cut himself. Not long after, he complained about his tongue being really sore after he managed to bite it quite badly - it was totally natural that it would be sore and take time to heal, but I obsessed over it, worrying the HPV was a factor. It wasn’t. I even noticed a skin tag on my own inside thigh that I suddenly freaked out over, thinking I was sure it hadn’t been there before we got together and panicking that we’d wake up one day covered in warts.

I was horribly embarrassed to admit to my consultant that this was all causing me so much distress and he gave me quite a stern talking to, in a nice way, and told me very firmly that I needed to get the HPV thing out of my head completely and not give it a second thought. He was reluctant to go into strains because there are hundreds and also because he didn’t want to kind of humour me in obsessing about it, but he did tell me I didn’t have two of the strains most likely to cause cervical cancer and I didn’t have a strain that causes warts.

So basically what I’m saying is my worry made me paranoid and I started seeing “symptoms” that weren’t actually there. A sore lip was just a sore lip and my tiny skin tag is just that, they’re very common and it’s totally unrelated to my positive HPV result.

So please don’t worry about yours - chances are, yes, you and your partner both have it, but if you were both going to be sexually active at all, with anyone, ever, however “safely”, then it was inevitable. And you’ll never know if you gave it to him or he gave it to you or where either of you got it - and you don’t need to. All you both need to do is engage with any screening programmes designed to keep you healthy and if you do have any genuine cause for concern over anything, don’t ignore it, get things checked out early so any necessary intervention can happen before a problem takes hold. But don’t go looking for problems or be braced for them to appear just because of HPV.

I know this is easy to say, but I hope you can give your mind some ease!


Thank you so much for taking the time to message your advice. This has reassured me.
With thanks.

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Thank you for your advice … I think these are all really important points.
With thanks again.

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Thank you so much for your response… very positive and reassuring!

Thank you so much for such a detailed message, I have learnt a lot and feel reassured!
Many thanks…

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