I need someone to talk to... please!

I don't know if I'm in the right place or if anyone can help but I'm so low and scared.

I had precancerous cervical cells removed on Tuesday after 2 smear tests and a biopsy showing abnormalities and I am still so scared. I know they say that I've had the treatment now but what if it's worse than they thought, or if they've not got it all or it comes back?

I cant stop crying I'm in pain still and I'm lonely and don't know who to talk to about my worries. I'm sorry if this isn't the right place and I know there's people worse than me I just don't know what to do x

Hi Lovely,

Sorry you feel so awful(((HUG)))

Have you got anybody you can call to come and sit with you?

You sound like you could do with a big cuddle.

I will send you a virtual one X

Try not to worry too much,it will make you feel worse.

Take a couple of pain killers and have a hot bath,that

alway's makes me feel better.

Trust in what they tell you....That is the truth.

It will get better,but you have had a shock so it

will take a couple of days to get your head together.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Take care

Becky x

Thanks for the hug!

i know I'm probably being silly but I just feel lonely like I have no one to talk about it with. It kinda feels like people ask if I'm ok but don't really understand, my partners been useless which I know sounds terrible but it really felt like we came out of the hospital and he expected everything just to be normal and I feel like I'm boring him with my feelings. I just didn't know where else to turn to off load how I'm feeling. I feel so stupid being this upset and worried X

Hi

 

Please dont worry! Im waiting on my results after Lletz to remove my precancerous cells CIN3. Im not even thinking about the results. As i've said to other ladies focus on each milestone one step at a time. And whilst your waiting on results live life.. lifes to short not to! :)

 

Everything theyve done is to make you better. You will get your results telling you whether the margins were clear ie if they took enough. If they didnt dont worry youll go back and theyll remove some more. Im sure youll be just fine. Dont forget if ypu do have clear margins and its all gone thry dont just forget you we get 6mth follow ups to see how its going and whether you are still allclear.

 

Take some painkillers you will get some cramps. If they are really bad or the discharge smells see your gp for antibiotics if its infected. Stay positive! Oh and if you havent spoke to your family and friends you really should youll be surprised how many people have been through the same most of my friends have and we talk about anything and everything....literally even the TMI stuff. Im 28yrs btw.x sorry for any typos

Hi GemJay

Sorry to hear you are feeling scared and alone. I remember exactly that feeling, like you are on the edge of a cliff and you just do not know which way or how far the wind will blow you. I will be honest with you here. You may have good and bad moments but you are unlikely to feel human again until you get your results (more than likely confirming the fantastic news that you are going to be absolutely fine, which is the most probable scenario) until that moment, it is completely fine and normal to feel gripped with fear of the unknown. One of the very lovely ladies on here suggested getting a mindfulness app, which I would have done if I had not been extremely fortunate and got my results very quickly. Try and have some things lined up to look forward to and take your mind off the wait, talk to family or loved ones, even if not about this, but friendships are great therapy. Easy to say but try and keep in your mind that it is very unlikely to vary from your biopsy and that you are in the very best care. The ladies on Jo's will help you through

Big hugsxxx 

Thank you 

I think it doesn't help that I don't understand all the grading and stuff and it didn't dawn on me to ask about it until today. As I said to Rebecca01 people ask how I am but no one I know has been through it so it's like they don't really understand.  Do I sound like I'm being really selfish? I really don't mean to be x

 

Hi you are not alone!!!
 
i had a biopsy that showed cin 2 and have a lletz booked, I'm also feeling very alone in this but I'm really not, there are so many women that go through this. Apparently it's very rare to find cancer after a lletz so stay positive! I know it's hard but you can do it! Stay busy, I'm sure you have hobbies and friends who care about you or family? I love to read and it's keeping me sane! I'm keeping busy with work and days out with friends. Do you know when you will get your results? Sending big hugs xxxx

Hi GemJay, 

As the other ladies have said, you're definitely not alone. Its a horrible time of waiting and i'm in a similar position. 

Confirmed CGIN following biopsy that has been passed to MDT due to the margins not being clear. It's the waiting thats the worst!! i have no idea what treatment i need and just have to wait to find out!

On the positive side, be glad that you are on their radar and that the right people are now helping you! 

You have been brave enough to get this far (and its a really sad fact that some ladies put off this sort of thing altogether) so you will be brave enough to get through whatever comes next!

I am new to this process too and it's scary at times so if you ever want to message me feel free :)

Theres lots of ladies on here who all offer great advice so there will always be someone to talk to. Please dont feel alone. 

Best wishes xx

 

Gemjay

 

Did they tell you what grade your biopsy is? They are graded CIN1, CIN2, CIN3. 1 is the lowest and 3 the highest. Generally CIN1 they just monitor you as it can go away without intervention. CIN2 & CIN3 dont generally go away on there own which is why intervention is needed as in they remove it with Lletz or a cone biospy. It can take upto 10 years for CIN2 & CIN3 to turn into cancer but they want to prevent this. They should have told you what the biospy was graded as then that abnormal area is removed and sent off to be checked again. You cant guarantee that it wont be graded any worse then what biopsy but i dont think it generally comes back worse. Mine is CIN3 so i am waiting to find out that they have removed enough of the area in that there are "clear margins" in the area removed and that it was CIN3 contained within the area removed. Hope that make sense! Dont be alone plenty of information and people on here :) x

they didn't directly tell me what grade it was but both me and my partner heard them saying something about the number 3 When they were examining me before the treatment x

Thank you all for your lovely messages!

since posting I have took some painkillers, ha a soak in the bath and had my favourite dinner so I'm feeling a bit more chilled out now! 

I know I need to stay positive but I've always been a worrier so I need to keep myself occupied, my house has never been so tidy haha. I'm sure I'll have ups and downs and I'm really grateful that you've taken the time to talk to a worrying wreck so from the bottom of my heart thank you :)

xxx

Hi

theyve said I'll get my results within 4 weeks. My first biopsy I had to wait 8 weeks for the results then I was told to just go for a 6 month smear, I got the results from that last thursday and was in hospital for treatment earlier this week. It's all really confusing me!

Also as I didn't think to ask when I was at the hospital if I rang the department would they be able to tell me what grade etc it is?

You should have a letter with your biospy results on that you initially had done? My lletz appointment came through weeks before them sending my results letter which was types within a few days of each other! 

My letter said re my biospy on 19 dec 2014 i have got the results back and it has shown a pre cancer change CIN3 which will need further treatment-lletz.

 

Call the department say if you never had your biopsy result letter and that u want it and ask her to read the results letter out to you. I have to wait 6-8weeks for my results where i live dont seem quite as quick as other areas! :) 

 

i didn't realise you got a results letter. All I've received are appointment letters so think ill give them a call Monday morning.

Hopefully I can find out a bit more about what's happening

thank you :)

Of course, yes you will get a results letter explaining your results.  Like I say my Lletz appointment letter was written on 14th Jan and the results letter written 19th jan however  my results didn't turn up until less than a week before my Lletz! which was 13th feb, not quite sure where the letter had been which kind of left me in limbo lol.

 

Good Luck, remember don't panic, stay calm, one step at a time and its all to make you better! Stay strong girl chin up! :)

I've had 2 smears and a biopsy before I had the treatment and haven't received anything like that so thanks for letting me know!

And good luck to you to thanks for all your help :)

x

 

Oh thats doesn't sound right! I had my smear and abnormal results letter.  I then had a biopsy and my biopsy results letter then my lletz.  Give them a call and take care no worries :) x