I was diagnosed on 9 November with early stage cc and decided againt telling my 14 year old and 20 year old as the oldest one is studying in London, until I knew what I was dealing with.
When I got the results of the scan and was booked in for a cone biopsy (to establish whether a standard or radical hysterectomy will be carried out) I decided to tell them as too many friends knew and I was worried the younger one would find out.
Being a mum and wanting to protect them I really did play everything down. Don’t get me wrong everything is looking very positive but I never let them see me have a wobble so they were unaware of what I had been through waiting for that scan result.
I come from Scotland and wanted to make the 300 mile trip to see my family and wanted my boys with me. Anyway the other day the eldest said he didn’t want to come and wanted to stay with his girlfriend. I have sobbed on and off for three days and feel so hurt. His dad and I are divorced and I never make demands of them and on this one occasion I wanted to be with all the people I care about at the same time having realised that things could have been very different. Having spoken to him again he said I had played everything down and I sounded fine so he didn’t realise it meant so much to me as I often go up on my own he didn’t see the problem.
I have now spoken to him on the phone and cried so I have upset him and he is adamant he is going and now I feel bad. I know I am on an emotional roller coaster and it probably is expecting a lot of a 20 year old male to understand
but I feel guilty now which isn’t great.
Don’t know what I am asking here other than looking for reassurance than I am not selfish.