I feel like im going mad.

Hi ladies.... thought id come on here and get abit of support and try and support others... i dont know about you but iv found the past few weeks SO draining let alone the past year or so leading up to it...

had my lletz done just over 2 weeks ago, found it SOOOO painful and traumatising, prior to this the past year iv had spotting, spotting after sex, spotting after going to the toilet, spotting after running or going to the gym, any activity really.... visited my gp mulitple times told it was a side effect of my pill and changed my pills several times, i visited my family planning clinic got god knows how many swabs done looking for infections or anything ( by this time my self worth was in the toilet i felt disgusting and infected by some unknown std not recognised ) no answers no definitive reason as to why i was bleeding... id asked for a smear and was told due to my age (23) it would just be ignored by the lab... plus they couldnt see any cancer??  In june of this year i visited my gp with my mum, burst into tears and told her id been having bleeding she examined me and said '' oh cervical ectoption we can get it cauterised'' went to colposcopy had a smear and a biopsy ( big white mass ) and boom severe abnormalities and CIN3. 

 

Im so drained... currently all colours of the rainbow coming out of me sometimes abit of fresh blood if i go to the loo sometimes just brownish sometimes yellow, on antibiotics as iv had serious back pain. 

 

dont know how much more i can take waiting for my lletz results.....

 

Oh and my bf left me a week before my biopsy. 

 

xxxx

 

 

Honey, I can totally sympathise. Tbh I didn't really have any symptoms prior to abnormal smear except perhaps increased discharge which gave no pain and had no real bearing on my life! I totally felt like I too was (am?!) going mad- see my last reply to Eloria's post. I feel entirely consumed by this but I have to say, a bit more normal since I had results so hopefully u will too. Best advise I can give is u don't need to be a good little patient- call them up, badger for results, ask any questions u like!! And please know that you're not alone xx

Worry is a horrible thing, it can literally drive you mad. I hadn't had symptoms either but as I'm 

28 i had my regular smear which came back severe, so I had a lot of instant shock and worry rather than the progressive ongoing worry that you've had.  It always angers me when you hear about younger girls like. Yourself being ignored because of their age when they have these symptoms. At least you know now though that you are being looked after and will be sorted out. Try and take some comfort from that. Your persistence got you somewhere and you did well to not ignore it like many would have. 

Sorry to hear about what happened with your boyfriend as well...that's just shitty really and obviously not what you needed right now. I have found that one thing after another seems to happen when you're going through  a crappy time. Have you got some good friends and family to support you and to have some fun with to take you mind off stuff? I mentioned in another post that I went for a massage at a holistic therapies place last week and it was amazing for eliviating some stress! Def recommend! Xx

 

Hi Ruby

just wanted to post to offer my support. The way you are feeling is completely normal and unfortunately your mind runs away to dark places. I have felt the same too. However now i feel a lot more positive. Try and stay busy. The recovery from the LLETZ makes you feel completely lousy and I think psychologically it make you feel worse too. I had my LLETZ on August 5th and only stopped with the discharge/bleeding this weeken. My consultant said this recovery period is completely normal however and has no baring on what the result may be.

Think positive xxx

hiya ladies thanks so much, im so confused by what my body is doing...  my bleeding has slowed righttttt down now, its only present when i go to the toilet, hardly anything on the pad... actaully got concerned i was urinating blood!! 

 

so tired of it all.. still no results :( x

Hi ruby

i called the colposcopy department the other day and asked if they had anything back. My results were in but it wasn't in the 'urgent pile' So won't be having to go back. I will receive my results through the post in 2 weeks. She couldn't tell me anything but it was a little reasurring and I feel a bit better now. It's worth a try :) 

xx

Firstly your shitty boyfriend can do one! So sorry to hear you've had to go through that alongside everything else. You know we're all here for you I just really hope you don't have to wait any longer. I feel like I've pretty much had to wear pads every day for the past 5 months, as soon as this period is over I never want to wear one again! Chin up, you're doing really great so far and I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you. Xxx

Hi Ruby, sometimes I think the best thing is a big friendly *hug* & knowing that you aren't alone - which with this site you definitely aren't, we all understand what you are going through.  Hopefully this will soon be a thing of the past for all of us, xx

Thankyou guys for all your support! I feel like we have all this done to us and have are given hardly any infomation on what to expect afterwards, making life so much more stressfull than it already is!! 

Such a god send that this site is here and all you ladies have been on here because im certain i would have really lost it without you all 

 

xx