New here and first time poster. A few weeks ago I recieved results that I am HPV18+ with endocervical adenocarcinoma in situ (AIS) found on two biopsies of my cervix. I am waiting for a LEEP in June to figure out what happens next, if it is actually in situ or not, and what my treatment is. I have two children and am done with childbearing, so I'm not worried about the hysterectomy I need to have.
Right now, the waiting is driving me crazy. Mostly, I am finding that I am so hyper aware and hyper sensitive about my body right now. I am so overly aware of how my body is feelings, and everthing (of course) points to "THIS IS CANCER."
Every ache below my belly button (I swear my cervix/uterus is cramping more than normal). Every drop of pee that smells maybe a little stronger (can't be the coffee, it's definitely spread to my bladder). Every time my back aches (not my desk-sitting posture - definitely cancer). Every bit of being just a little more tired than I should be (couldn't be my full-time job and lack-of-sleep due to this paranoia).
Everything that would have been explained away as something simple (bad posture, oncoming period, not drinking enough water, not sleeping well)... now it's "HOW-DID-YOU-POSSIBLY-MISS-THESE-SYMPTOMS-YOU-IDIOT?!"
The worst part of it all is feeling like I can't talk about it. I don't want to make my family more worried than they already are. I don't want to wear out my sympathy. I don't want to be a burden. I'M already sick of hearing me talk about it, and it's my body.
I know I'm not the only one. I know I can't possibly be the only person who has been dragged under by this wait (and weight). How did you get through?