I'm not really good at this type of thing but I'll give it ago.
2 years ago I went for my smear, results came back with abnormal cells and hvp positive. My now ex gf had genital warts in the past and had no idea she still had the hvp. So I was booked in for the coloscopy (however you spell it) and biopsy.. Results came back that they didn't need to see for another 3 years... But wasn't great with info on hvp.
Me and my ex have now split and had my follow up smear done beginning of this month, got my results yesturday and still hvp positive but no abnormal cells this time (good).. Reality has finally hit me with hvp, I feel like I cannot simply meet another woman to be sexually active with them.. It dosnt matter how safe I can be, I'll always worry that I'm still passing it on. So if I don't be sexually active at least I'm saving other women some worry right? But now I'm just feeling extremely alone with this, me and the ex aren't on speaking terms which is hard because she has it and could still support each other with this. I don't think she takes it as seriously as I do, not sure if that's a good thing or not because she would need to tell potential partners.
I just feel like my life has changed completely and now I have a new strain of anxiety to be on top of my anxiety.
There are a lot of different stains of HPV and the ones that cause genital warts are different to the ones that can cause cervical cancer. Only those that can cause cervical cancer are tested for when you have a smear test.
Every year tens of thousands of women in the UK get the sort of results you have so if every one of those women decided they could no longer be sexually active then the world would become a very strange place. It's great that your colposcopy indicated you don't need to be seen for another 3 years - there's a very high chance that your immune system will clear the virus and you well may not have any more abnormal results. Having said that HPV is a tricky little thing and has the ability to lie dormant in the body for many years and then suddenly reactivate in which case it may start to cause problems, so never ever get complacent and always keep up to date with your smears. Keeping up to date with smear tests is the key thing - not punishing yourself through a life of abstention for something that's not your fault - it's no one's fault, HPV is here to stay but we're lucky to live in a country that has a cervical screening programme which massively reduces the chances of getting cervical cancer.
I suggest a good way forward would be to get yourself genned up about hpv and when you understand it more you will be less afraid. When you meet your next partner it would be good to have a discussion about HPV and share your knowledge about it - if she doesn't know already; ideally we should all be educated about HPV - knowledge is power and means we know how best to protect our health. Sadly I had some mistaken beliefs and unfounded fears about smear tests which led me to stop going when I was 50y - see my back story.
To get genned up about HPV I suggest the information that is available on this website - see link: https://www.jostrust.org.uk/information/hpv
It's so good for you not to have sex with anyone for the fear of passing the Hvp. Not all can actually do that-they can't control. Better be open to your next relationhip about your situation for them to fully undersand you.
So HPV, even the high risk kinds, will almost always clear on their own. The UK has screenings to keep a better eye on people with HPV as they can lead to cell changes, but even these can disappear. The way my clinician described mine was like clearing a cold sore on your cervix - even some of these cell changes can be low grade and harmless, and clear on their own, as mine did pretty much fully before i even got my colposcopy.
HPV is super common: 80% of people will run into some strain of it, and about 40% of women or those with cervixes will have the high risk type. Very few of these cases turn into cancer, and that’s why it’s important to keep up with screens.
You are right, safe sex doesn’t really prevent its transmission - that’s why GPs tend to tell you: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DISCLOSE YOU HPV STATUS. You can enjoy your life. You can have casual sex. HPV is so common and prevalent anyone participating in sex is putting themselves at risk, and most of the time, even the high risk ones, do not lead to cancer. The issue is when people cannot fight off the infection themselves - that’s when they will receive treatment if needed.
You are allowed to live your life and sleep with other people. Get educated on HPV, talk to your GP about your anxieties and fear, and be open with your partner if it will make you feel better. The reason GPs often tell people they do not need to disclose is because it can lay dormant, people don’t understand how prevalent it is and how it often leads to no symptoms or side effects - it can even be missed in a smear test even if you know you have it.
So if it is giving you this much anxiety, speak to your GP. Let them explain to you how normal it is to have, and how it shouldn’t stop you from doing things, just like having a cold doesn’t stop you from doing most things either.
Good luck to you, and please be kinder to yourself!
