Hsil no pap for years symptoms please read :(

Hi long story short due to caring for family members that were severely ill my health has been on a back burner have not had a smear for 18 years (yes I hate myself for it) had a smear hsil, went for colposcopy they did a biopsy she said I will need lletz under ga but wants to wait for biopsy results she did say she would be very surprised if it’s cancer… The thing is I have had pain with sex for years only sometimes, I also get extremely painful pelvic cramps and rectal pain around ovulation time I also can get these pains when needing to pas gas It feels like labour cervix dilation I’m so angry at myself for not looking after myself better I put everyone before me always and while I wouldn’t change that I wish I had taken the time to get this checked out, I have been to doctors a few times just got told it was ibs or constipation I’m just so worried this is going to be invasive cancer I guess I’m just scared and so angry at myself sorry I just need to vent nobody in my life wants to talk about it they just dismiss me saying it will be fine and I don’t want to worry them so I minimise it myself as well

Hi Cheys and welcome to the site. This is exactly the place to vent and to get support from others who know what you might be going through as we have all been through it ourselves. The important thing now is that you have had the smear and colposcopy and are on a journey to see if further treatment is needed. I know I regreted not going to the GP sooner after post coital bleeding, but it's no good looking back. It's good you are taking time for yourself and getting things sorted. Do use this site for any support or advice needed as there is always someone out there who has been through the same. Try not to immediately jump to the worst case scenario. Hopefully you will soon know what is going on. All the best to you .

Thank you Rachel I appreciate your kind words I'm trying to not beat myself up and just get on with it now whatever it might be what is is, if you know what I mean no point dwelling on it I think I will feel better when I get my biopsy results either way