Hi , I am new to this page and completely overwhelmed. I’m 31 and had 3 smear test in my life first 2 came back normal, I got my letter from my last smear on Tuesday saying hpv positive (doesn’t say high or anything, not sure if I have to wait for the coloscopy to find that out) and borderline changes to my cells. I completely broke down and cried every since. I have a little girl and it’s just me and her and I’m petrified of all this. I have always practiced safe sex and feel ashamed of all this. Does anyone else have any help or anything please. I haven’t been able to function since and can’t bare the thought of what could be happening in my body. I don’t have any irregular bleeding but have pains. Thank you in advance for any comment.
Hi Samantha, I am not in the same situation as you but I didn’t want to read and run! I am 34 and all my previous smears were fine until 2019 when my result came back as HPV positive but no abnormal cells. I believe they had only just started the primary HPV testing then. I was then back for smears yearly and this year had my 3rd HPV positive test so was sent for a colposcopy. Luckily everything was fine at my colposcopy and I have been discharged back to every three years.
I see from your post you have borderline changes to your cells along with HPV which will be why you are being referred to Colposcopy now. Although it won’t be the result you were hoping for I took comfort that I was being regularly monitored and even when I was referred for Colposcopy this year although I was nervous I was also pleased I was being thoroughly checked over and so please take a little comfort in not only that, but also that borderline changes is very very early changes and anything picked up will be able to be dealt with before it becomes anything sinister!
In regards to feeling ashamed of HPV, please don’t be. I know its easier said than done and I absolutely felt the same when I first received my result! However you will see from the information pages on this site just how common it is. I asked the Colposcopist about HPV whilst I wsa there too and she said it is that common that all 3 of us (there was a nurse in with us too during my appointment) are likely to have had it at somepoint in our lives and that it is so very common! There really is no need to be ashamed what so ever, the problem is there seems to be a big stigma about it and so much more information is needed to be put out there to educate people on what it actually is, how common it is and there is nothing you can have done to prevent it!
I hope this helps provide atleast some comfort xx
Ahh thank you for your reply… I am just so worried of even cuddling and giving my daughter kisses I’m exposing her to catching it and I am so scared… I’ve kept sure that we use completely different bath towels and panicked as even just sharing drinks has scared me. Also questioning what if I have been exposed to something else if condoms don’t fully protect you. I haven’t had a sexual partner in over a year and it has completely put me off being with someone in that way ever again. I suffer with high anxiety and intrusive thoughts so just having crying fits that I’m going to be leaving my precious little girl with her mummy and it breaks my heart so much.
I am trying to stay in some comfort that I’m being monitored at least but the thought of an 8 week wait to find out more is so awful. I haven’t slept since I found out… my appetite has gone.
Yes I have researched and spoken to my doctor about it but nothing seems to put my mind at rest and just completely hating myself for this happening feeling so stupid.
I agree with the previous comment, please do not feel ashamed by your HPV diagnosis. It truly is such a common thing and even practicing safe sex is not 100% that you will not get it. I’ve only been with my husband (he was sexually active before we met, hence how I got it), and I found out I have HPV last December. It was very shocking and I had ZERO knowledge or information about the virus so I also felt ashamed, confused, worried, and really just freaked out. After it was explained more to me, and also how VERY common it is- I felt a little more at ease.
Borderline changes can sometimes also revert back to normal in lots of women 
I think this is also pretty common and another reason why loads of women never even know they have at some point even had HPV in the first place.
I think there should be more information about HPV circulated so that women don’t feel so low and terrible about themselves when they are told they have it. Now that you are aware you have HPV, you should be monitored regularly which is GREAT! It will prevent you from ever having to face an issue that could be more sinister to deal with. I hope you find joy and comfort and are able to rid yourself of the shameful feeling as there is truly nothing to feel bad about in regards to this 
I just want to say I understand the anxiety - I thought I knew all the sensible, reassuring things, but I still freaked out when my smear came back as HPV positive with low grade abnormal cells. So I know it’s easier said than done, but please try to be kind to yourself - being anxious when faced with something unfamiliar and uncertain is totally understandable, so you shouldn’t feel bad about that in itself.
But I also know how rubbish that anxiety can make you feel - I’ve personally had other factors going on, new relationship, work pressure, but this has been the big trigger and I’ve made myself so ill at times with crying and being stressed, ending up with migraines and even losing my hair a bit through sheer stress. So I really would say try to get a handle on that as best you can, just so you can be as robust as possible to get through this - because you totally will, but unfortunately, it can be a slow process of waiting for next steps and then seeing how things are with you.
But here are all the reasons to be reassured. Cell changes aren’t sinister in themselves, just something to either be monitored or knocked on the head to stop you having to worry about anything else developing. They’ve been caught early and that’s much better than not knowing until further down the road as there’s so much time and so many options if treatment is needed - better a tiny bit of treatment now than something more drastic years in the future. Some low grade changes clear on their own, others are removed with no fuss and you’ll heal up in a few weeks.
As for HPV - unfortunately it’s just part of life. I understand that wobble as I had it myself, but it really is so very common that you can basically consider all adults who haven’t abstained from any sexual contact at all to have it or have had it in the past. It’s not “dirty” or something to be ashamed of or a sign you’ve done anything wrong. There is no guaranteed protection from it and you don’t even need to have full sex to catch it. My consultant scolded me, in a nice way, for giving it a second thought - he basically said it was not worth worrying about at all and that the only thing it proved was the importance of engaging with the cervical screening programme and that was why it was there - to protect people.
It’s very common and so are abnormal cells, it’s important to remember that. I’d also add that this forum is a brilliant source of support and information, but please remember that those with particular anxieties, complications and more serious cases are more likely to need it and therefore you can get a slightly skewed picture of what is “normal”. Many, many women test positive for HPV and never have any cause for concern and many women have abnormal cells that are dealt with swiftly and with no complications - you hear less of those stories because those women shrug off their experiences and don’t feel the need to share them.
I wish all this was more commonly talked about so it didn’t come as such a shock to those who experience it and go through more anxiety than is strictly necessary - myself included!
Thank you all for your replies they have made me feel a bit more at ease. I also received my colposcopy date through today for the 13th September so it really is not that far away from the 6 weeks holidays ending. With all your messages it has really helped me just think a bit more positive and hold onto them. Like one said there really isn’t anything I can do just yet and have to take one step at a time and feel lucky they have detected early then further down the line.
I hope everyone is well and I am so thankful I found this page as I do think a lot more needs to be out there and comfort in the help and support from this page and people.
Hi Sam, do you mind me asking if you had a biopsy at your colposcopy or did they just not see any changes?
I didn’t have a biopsy at mine they just said it was completely normal and now I worry incase something was missed
Sorry, wrong person reply.
Did you have a biopsy at your smear? I didn’t when I went and now I’m back to 3 yearly smear tests… I’m just worried this seems too long!
Hi I’m not sure if your replied was meant for me but I didn’t just want to ignore. I will let you know when I go. I think i will feel the same as you if I go and all seems fine but with the hpv being positive I think I read I will go for yearly smears to keep and eye on that. It is all so very worrying and I would definitely feel ease if smear test was done regularly for all woman and the age was dropped.
Yeah me too! My HPV was positive once and then negative so I went back to 3 yearly which worries me. I had a colposcopy as I was so anxious and that was all normal and no biopsy was taken. Then the negative HPV. Just wish we could have them yearly instead
Hi! No I didn’t have a biopsy but they had a really good look. I had prepared my self for a biopsy but they didn’t do one. I know what you mean re wondering if they missed anything but I am happy to trust them at the moment as I don’t have any odd symptoms etc and figure I’ve managed the last 3 years without the HpV causing any changes so fingers crossed it might be on its way out! Who knows! I just plan to be as healthy as I can, reduce stress as much as I can, and if I get any odd symptoms what so ever in the next three years I’ll be straight to the doctors! Otherwise just getting on with life and putting it to the back of my mind xx
Hello lovely, firstly I’m sorry you’re going through this - I know first hand how scary it is!
I had my first smear at 25 come back HPV +ve and abnormal cell changes. I took was devastated and felt all kinds of shame regarding the HPV; I’d been with a new guy for about 3 months (still together 4 years on) and he is a doctor and was very pragmatic about it all and really brought me down off the ledge. Nothing to be ashamed of, vast majority of us have it at some point in life and never know about it!
I went for my first colposcopy and it was actually more comfortable than the smear itself, she just looked and said it wasn’t at a stage that needed any treatment and to attend my next smear as normal. I had that at 28 and was told I still had the HPV but this time severe changes. The 2nd colposcopy, and treatment, were also fine and painless.
I have since has a 6 month follow up smear and have to go for another colposcopy this week… the HPV has persisted which I am told is not very common, less than 10% still have it after the treatment so I’m just unlucky I think.
I think something to take comfort in is that usually if there is something to be really worried about the nurse doing the smear can usually see and you are followed up very quickly. But all the same that first bit of news is really scary and it is a stressful time.
Wear something super comfy to your appointment, ask ALL the questions you want to. I do think sometimes because the staff do the job day in day out they can be a little desensitized to it and forget that for some women it is terrifying and a massive deal. So perhaps tell them when you arrive how you are feeling about it. I would imagine the likely outcome for you would be not to treat yet if it is just borderline changes from the smear. But I would perhaps request your next smear to be in 6 or 12 months rather than the 3 year recall - I wish I had done this as mine had progressss to severe after 3 years.
Good luck and thinking of you
Xx
Biopsy is done at colposcopy rather than the smear. I had one 6 months ago when I had LLETZ treatment, another 6 month smear in July and now have to go for another colposcopy this week. Trying not to let it stress me.
Thank you! I think I need to do the same! I’ve been with my husband for 17 years and so I must have had HPV all that time without it causing changes so fingers crossed it’ll be ok at my next smear!
I need to trust they didn’t miss anything too… they also did have a really good look!
They tested for HPV there again too and it was negative at that one… so maybe it’s on and off with me!
Thank you for your reply… I think its made me more at ease with the hpv diagnosis. I’m so sorry you are still going through it all. Could I ask what was the first treatment you had at 28 when you went back after 3 years and the hpv was still present. Yes I think because I have serve aniexty and intrusive thoughts which I’m already in CBT for I would be asking for more smears then going to 3 years.
Yes thank you for the advice I was going to wear a flowy long dress to where I can just pull up and then when done just flow it back down.
I’m happy things still worked out relationship wise. I’m a single mum and haven’t had a partner in a year and the thought of someone going near me right now or in the future I just can’t… I’m at a stage where I don’t want anyone near me at all. I don’t know if anyone else felt like this.
I’m not even a particularly anxious person and all this stuff really rattled me. I also had the 3 HPV vaccinations… albeit when I was 16 and already sexually active.
The treatment I had in January at my colposcopy was the LLETZ. Laser loop excision of transformation zone. They offered to do it there and then, and honestly it took only 5 mins. They give a local anaesthetic injection (which I couldn’t feel AT ALL even though I was watching it on the monitor!). They then use what I think is like a hot metal loop to remove the affected cells and seal the tissue. Didn’t feel a thing. Weirdly I find smears worse - I think because the plastic single use speculum at the GP surgery is more uncomfortable, whereas metal one at the hospital plus being in a chair designed to angle you specifically for the procedure the whole thing is much easier.
I had to wear pads for about 6 weeks after, no baths or swimming for 2 weeks. Had some mild cramps later that day but nothing ibuprofen didn’t fix.
My colposcopy is tomorrow. Decided I would defer treatment a few weeks if they say I need it because I have a wedding to go to next weekend and don’t want to be having to deal with the post treatment fluid and pad situation for that!
Hope everything goes okay for you! X
Hi Samantha,
I had exactly the same result has you in May this year. Please don’t worry! Borderline changes mean low grade changes. The colposcopist will just take a closer look at your cervix with a microscope which stays at least 30cm away from you at all times. I found it painless really. If it is confirmed low grade you may be the same as me and just booked back in for a years time again to check your body has fought it off. Your immune system can still get rid these cells itself at this stage. If in a years time the cells haven’t gone they will remove them under local anaesthetic. The cells will only possibly turn into cancer if left untreated for 10/20 years. So please dont worry!
If it helps i created a video with the NHS to talk about my experience from start to finish of hpv, colposcopy and CIN grading and what is on offer. You can view it here 
https://youtu.be/XAkKutsrBfc
This is a great video on YouTube with fantastic information regarding HPV thank you for sharing Laura
No problem Louise. Hope it helps
Ahh thank you so much… I’ve just watched the you tube video… its made me at ease but I’m still concerned obviously for what results I could be faced with. But I’m hoping it is early stages and things can be done.
It’s the hpv and moving forward with that which is concerning me… I haven’t been sexual active with anyone for a year and now with knowing this I have so much fear for if I eventually meet someone knew… aniexty of being that way when I have had this fear.
