So I got my smear test results on Friday (12 May), it didn’t help that they were delayed and I was already worried they were going to come back with bad news. Anyway, it came back positive for HPV but no abnormal cell changes (I’m trying to take the positives from that).
Needless to say, reading the results has devastated me. I literally burst into tears when I read the letter and have spent the last few days googling everything I can about it (I know, rabbit hole and all that).
I have read that yes it can clear up, but then I read on here people that have had it for years in a row and all the additional testing that subsequently entails. I am trying desperately to remain positive and not let this affect me, however I have one of those brains that goes to worse case scenario way too quickly. It doesn’t help that my mother has a hysterectomy when she was around my age (early-mid 40s) and whilst I don’t know the full details (she only ever said there were changes to her cervix so everything got whipped out immediately). I’m now thinking that I’m going to go down the same route. There is a family history of cancer (grandmother had breast cancer before I was born, and died as a result of bowel cancer, mother as mentioned had a hysterectomy due to cell changes and later died from pancreatic cancer) so now I’m worrying that this is going to be my path too.
I am reasonably healthy, I eat fairly decently (lots of fruit and veg etc), and I exercise regularly. I don’t smoke, I do drink occasionally but not to excess. I take vitamins etc so I would hope my immune system is in ok order.
Is there anything more I can do (apart from not try and panic etc). I just can’t help feeling that my body has let me down. I know this is unrealistic and that it’s likely I may have had HPV dormant in my body for a long time etc. I just have such an array of emotions right now and no one to really vent too (partner is supportive and tells me not to worry etc but his sister is currently battling breast cancer so don’t want to off load on him, daughter has a young child and is planning her wedding next month so again don’t want to burden her and I literally have no one else to turn to).
It hasn’t helped that almost all conversations I’ve been involved in this weekend has revolves around cancer so it’s almost like the universe is taunting me (again, I know that’s daft but my brain is incredibly daft at times).
Sorry for the rant, just need to get everything off my chest.