HPV coping with ongoing warts

I’m writing this as I’m feeling extremely low tonight and feeling pretty hopeless. I was diagnosed with HPV genital warts in June, after many sessions of freezing treatment (7 in total) at my local GUM clinic, many have gone but new ones seems to keep appearing. I’m now on my second months treatment of the imiquimod cream which this time round has made them very sore and caused quite a lot of irritation.

I just feel at a loss. I’ve changed my diet, take achh, b12, amoungst many other immune boosting supplements daily. Stopped drinking alcohol (not entirely but drastically changed) so much , im extremely fit and healthy all in all. The doctors and nurses say alot of it is stress and emotional issues that do not help and its best to not focus so much on the warts.i meditate every day and excercise a lot also. But i honestly dont know how to forget about these warts on my genitals when im trying to date and lead a normal life (obviously i’m not having sex with anyone). Im in my early 30s and just feel so much shame about them. Im going to have to tell the guy im seeing that i cant be intimate with him in this way and this is causing me a lot of anguish. I just keep thinking what if they just don’t go,am i seriously to wait more months and months to have sex when I’ve only just come out of a 10 year sexless marriage last December. I feel like these warts are stripping me of my new sexual freedom and identify and it makes me so sad after going through such a difficult time leaving my husband. I do have perspective and know things could be so much worse for me, i have often even felt appreciation for the warts as they have forced me to really look after myself and not rush into sexual relationships with guys. However tonight after looking again at the warts on my labia, not seeing any improvement and applying the cream i just feel hopeless and sad.

I guess im just reaching out incase anyone is going through the same thing? It just feels like a never ending embaressing cycle.

Hi, i used Condyline and it was really good. Only applied it once instead of twice daily - 3 days out of seven. I may still have some small warts, the gynecologist says they are not warts but i think they are. I will use the Condyline on them and see what happens.
For the dating , i do not know what to say…i haven’t been seeing anyone since i got the warts, mostly because i am still heartbroken after the guy i presume gave me the warts , left … I only dated 2 guys in my life ( i am 41) and it never turned into a relationship…now with the hpv i doubt it will ever work out

Hi Bex, i am going through the same situation. I delivered baby boy on 5th June and 2 months later saw warts on the genital area. I got them removed using laser Treatment. They recurred again and got them removed as well. My Husband is very supportive throughout the process but I’m still uncomfortable getting sexually active with him. I have made lifestyle changes, started taking vitamin supplements. And have accepted that this is going to be with me forever.

Hi Maria and Madhuri,

I felt sad when reading both of your posts as (very much like my original post) they read with a kind hopelessness. I guess that’s why and when we need these spaces most to reach out, when we are feeling our most low and desperate ( certainly for myself anyway).

Since writing my original post I decided to stop dating entirely, the pressure of dating was piling onto my obsession with the bug rush for the warts to go and I realised I was concentrating solely on getting rid of them for the sake of these men, rather than just getting better for myself. I have done research into holistic medicine and how emotional trauma and stress can manifest itself physically. It certainly sounds like this is what perhaps happened with you Madhuri, I can only imagine what your body went through to give birth and the emotional rollercoaster of it all, if the HPV was lying dormant in your body the mental and bodily impact of having a little one would bring on the genital warts.

I decided that I have to stop focusing on curing the symptoms with all the treatments and focus on the real root cause. Yes I have the virus, but I believe the warts keep coming because of unresolved tension and pent up suppressed emotional energy I have been carrying around since leaving my husband. I recently went for some energy healing and Reiki and the facilitator said I had a real disconnect with my body and she could tell the resentment and lack of general love I had for myself particularly in my vulva area. Anyway this could all seem abit woo woo, but I do believe If I can get on this healing journey internally and really learn to love and respect myself the HPV may stay under control. In the last two weeks the warts I had have all but disappeared, they are so so faint, I can barely feel anything down there. Anyway I’m trying not to get my hope expectations too high as they may return, but for now I am going to continue my healthy lifestyle, continue with the supplements ( I have been taking ahcc 3g throughout my day 30 mins before meals if possible as I read in a scientific study that this has been successful in some trials in completing irradiating the virus from some peoples systems). I am going to hold off seeing men also for a bit longer and just work on myself. I feel far less hopeless than I did, I’m just going to be patient with this and try to remember how much this difficult process has helped me to grow as a woman and reconnect with myself. Maybe I’ll write back in a few months feeling the opposite, but I just wanted to say patience, self care, and a healthy immune system and mind balance are key to keeping it under control. Maria - please don’t give up on finding a relationship!!It will work out, have faith. All the best and good luck xxx

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Hi Bex, i am glad to hear you are better . If the theraphy you are doing is helping you, it is the only thing that matters. I wish you all the best!
Thank you fir your kind wirds!

Hi @Maria82 and @Bex1981 ,
How are you doing ?
I don’t have any recurring warts but mentally i am very disturbed these days. Maybe because i am reading and overthinking a lot. I try very hard to divert myself but i end up crying and getting depressed. I believe after a while even my husband will stop supporting if i don’t improve. How are you all coping up ? If there are any tips that can help me out of this phase, please please do let me know. I am struggling very hard to accept this and get out of this phase.

Hi, sorry for the late reply. If you don’t have warts anymore that is a good thing, they are not dangerous so just enjoy the fact you got rid of them. If your husband is supportive, just enjoy time with him. Make sure you keep your immune system in good shape , so the virus stays dormant. You can write me anytime!
Unfortunately i have no one to understand me.

Hi Madhuri and Maria,

Madhuri I am sorry to hear about these feelings you are still having, it sounds tough and potentially you need to reach out and seek counselling or alternative therapies to process what have you gone through and find yourself again. Its great to have such a supportive partner but they can only do so much and it sounds like you would benefit from speaking about this with someone else. I appreciate that maybe this isn’t an option for you at this time. but there are also free helplines you can call (such as jo’s cervical trust).

For me the fear of the wartst re-occurring is still there, I have a tiny spot currently and I’m getting anxious about it. However I’m doing my best to reframe the whole experience in my mind so as not to start resenting my body again the way I did, I’m still undergoing holistic combination healing which I’m finding to be really useful in understanding where I carry trauma in my body and grow this connection to myself. Everything starts with love and respect for myself! its hard to unpick years of conditioning and also stigma that comes with having an STI but I can feel the shame is starting to lessen. It is so so common, its not your fault for feeling this way Madhuri, I’m unsure of your cultural background but over here in the UK we are generally taught to be very secretive about all things sex and particularly STI’s. Everything I was feeling in terms of shame was entirely based on external pressures of the culture I’ve been brought up in, its difficult to really look inward and stop judging myself based on these things. I really recommend the book the 7 spiritual laws of success by Deepak Chopra. I have found this book life changing in many ways and I refer back to it a lot. In this Chopra talks about practising non-judgement - he suggests saying the statement daily ’ Today I shall judge nothing that occurs’. I actually wrote this on my mirror and after a few weeks repeating this to myself it actually started to take affect and actually mean something. When I see my anxiety creeping in I immediately tell myself to stop judging.

Maria keep searching for your people, they are out there! Connection is everything and there are many people searching for the same things you are.

Anyway good luck, I’ll stop rambling on now. Sending love and positive energy to you both x

I also have warts I have type 16 HPV and lately been very anxious and feeling very down and alone

Hi Alex3, i know how you feel…i am here to talk if you want to

Hi Alex, you are not alone , so many people have this virus (40%). But be kind to yourself and try and open up to the people close to you in your life if possible. I was on a first date the other day and this guy just openly and confidently told me he had hpv and warts a few years ago and may still carry the virus . I was surprised as i had felt so much shame so i then went on to tell my story. It was extremely validating and the interaction made me realise how it didnt have to be this dirty little secret.
I hope you are recieving the treatment you need. With the warts part, i can only say patience, immune health and talking about it are the three things that helped me. Taking conrol of my diet and making my immune system as strong as possible gave me a sense of control when i was starting to feel helpless. Its also helped me in other parts of my life aswell. Good luck, it will get better i promise x

Hi was just wondering what you ladies recommend for warts please I’ve had them freezed etc but fear going back to clinic as it’s embarrassing and struggling with my anxiety it’s hard to leave the house sometimes