Hpv and infidelity

Hi this is the first time I've posted on here so I hope I've chosen the right area . I have been married for over 12 years and have just found out I am hpv positive! I've never had genital warts so I'm wondering a) if i caught this before my marriage would it stil be present in my body? And b) should I be questioning whether my husband has been unfaithful :-( 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated x thanks x


From what i've read up about hpv the virus can lay dormant for many years and it is only when it becomes 'active' that it can be detected so it is possible that you could have developed the virus before you married. It doesn't necessarily mean you need to question your husbands fidelity.

This is one of the links i've found that explains a little about dormant hpv and how it can stay in your body for years undetected.


Hope this helps x

Thanks for your reply, it wouldn't concern me so much but I have just had lletz for cin3 so all sorts of horrible thoughts run through your mind . Thanks again x 

Hello.  Anyone who's ever been sexually active can have this virus.  It doesn't matter if you've slept with one person or 100, unfortunatley the fact that it is sexually transmitted, throws a very bad light on it in my opinion.   I've had one partner - yes one! for all of my life, my husband.  We met when I was 16 & he 17 and we've been together all of that time.  I have no doubts whatsoever regarding  my husbands faithfulness,  therefore I know it has nothing to do with infidelity.  I only found out it was transmitted this way when I was diagnosed.  What makes me angry,   is that the minute some people learn that it's caused by hpv which is sexually transmitted, they assume or somehow judge you as being promiscuous - DON'T GO THERE WITH ME!  It's our society that's to blame for any stigma that's attached to HPV or cervical cancer.


Thanks bogey woman I feel completely reassured now. It was the time scale that bothered me I wonder if it's periods of stress which cause the virus to become active again and then cause the changes?


Hello Foofar - I think the stress thing definitely affects the virus.  I had shingles (stress related) and I believe it's during that period tht the virus was able to do it's worst,  my immune system was down and it was able to  thrive.  

There's a lesson in that itself, we ladies should be vigilant when we are in a stressed state, that it can have an adverse effect on our health in such a serious way.  

I'm glad you feel some reassurance now!


This completely makes sense as I began a new very stressful job 12 months ago.. Think I need to learn how to chill out I think 

I didn't think about it at the time.  When I was working I was stressing because there was a lot of responsibility with my job and I took it very seriously.  My bosses weren't aware of it until I cracked one day!

I'd had so many niggling things wrong with me for some time, not much on their own - like a  aching leg, aching arm, hair was going thin, and some of other things, I had a list written for the doctor  but I can't remember them all now.  When I went to the doctor, he gave me multi-vitamins! Then I came out in  a rash, 3 or 4 places down one arm.  Back to the doctor who said it was shingles - brought on by stress.   Not very long after that I had the first 'dodgy' smear.  Now when I look back, I think the stress caused the shingles, my immune system was down, unable to fight off the HP Virus.  

And now that I'm considering going back to work, it will be the same position with the same stresses - I'm not sure that I want to go back to that.  I loved my job and the responsibility of it actually gave me a buzz but I don't think that the enthusiasm is there any more.  Also, I wouldn't want to be there doing 'half a job' if you know what I mean.  

I've got a much different approach now, more relaxed, everyday things don't  worry  me now, I just say  ''what's the worst can happen? - oh that's right, it already has!''  I just need to convince my husband now to  stop stressing over little things, that really irritates me!

I have been with my husband for 18 years. I’m 35 now. I didn’t even question anyone’s faithfulness. I got diagnosed with everything in 2016. My doc told me it’s very common to lie dormant for 10-15 even 20 years. He also said that mine could have also just been missed though. My single tumor was pretty far up the cervical canal and had never even triggered an abnormal pap until 2016 though by that time I was only going every 3-5 years for one. After doing some reading around I came to the conclusion it’s impossible to pinpoint a time frame especially if it happened when you were younger.