hey
So this is the second time I have had abnormal results from my smear resulting in a colcoscopy. The first time I was described as having low grade changes and was observed over the course of a year and half until I suddenly got a clear result and went back to the normal 3 years. Went for my routine smear back in march and it came back with a hpv + with low grade changes again! After having my colcoscopy the other day my doctor said it looks more likely to be grade 2 if not grade 3 but need to wait for my biopsy results. I am terrified I am going to be told I have cancer once my results come back and I cant stop thinking about it! My friend went through the same thing and was diagnosed with cervical cancer, thankfully her treatment was successful and she is well although it did send her through early menopause and now unable to have children. Another fear of mine as I am 30 years old with no current children but was planning on starting a family in the next couple of years with my partner. How likely is it my results will say I have cancer? I am still trying to get my head round the fact it's very likely i will need some form of treatment because of the high grade changes. Truthfully, I am just freaking out and have 4-6 weeks to wait for my results ?
Thanks for reading, Sarah x
Hi!
Sorry you are going through this right now. I am as well although my smear result came back with severe high grade changes (yikes). I'm having a LLETZ in a few weeks to sort it out.
What has helped me not to go to dark places is to focus on the facts. Yes, there is a tiny chance that it could be cancer, but in the vast majority of times it isn't and they just want to treat you for abnormal cells. Even if it is microscopic cancer, when caught early its just about 100% curable. Remember as well you may not even have to have treatment yet - as you are still waiting for your biopsy results :-)
With regards to the treatment; I am not too worried about it. I would rather have the abnormal cells out of me and not hang around. However, I have already had kids so I appreciate that's an additional worry for you. I did talk to my colposcopist about that though and she said that having a LLETZ is also suitable if you are planning to have kids afterwards.
To focus myself on the facts, I did the following. I allowed myself to Google for a bit because I wanted to research my issue. I then got myself to focus on a couple of posts that put my mind in a much more positive and easier place. Whenever my mind starting going to a darker place, I re-read them.
Here are those posts - they are both from young women - with one reply from a nurse who knows what she is talking about:-
https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancer-chat/thread/lletz-1#post-1237746
https://www.jostrust.org.uk/forum/cervical-screening-smear-test-discussions/first-smear-25-severehigh-grade-dyskaryosis
I'm also focusing on my diet to make sure I'm giving my body the best chance of clearing this on its own. I've cut out dairy, meat, processed sugar and any junk/processed food. I have loads of veg and fruit (dark green veggies are the best!). I also make a green smoothie every day (think mainly spinach with a bit of fruit - bananas are good). Help your immune system to get rid of the abnormal cells, as well as going for the treatment they recommend.
The chances are MASSIVELY in your favour that you are going to be okay 
Maddie
Thank you so much for your reply! I also hope that your LLETZ is successful which I am sure it will be! The whole thing is just so scary isn't it, I have a history of various cancers in my family and so i have always been sure that I would get it in some form myself so these results just add to that worry! I know i need to just try and relax until I know for sure what is going on and I really should start to give my body the best chance as last time I had these changes I was on a diet and eating well and eventually I got the all clear. Need to find that motivation again and this in fact should be enough to give it to me but i seem to be going the other way. Lockdown obviously hasn't helped any. I am hoping I can start to be more healthy and positive once I get back to work and in a routine again. Once again thank you for taking the time to reply to me and fingers crossed we both have good results ? x
Hi!
Totally agree about lockdown. I worked from home all the way through but I ate loads of rubbish (and drank too much alcohol) to deal with the stress. Fortunately, finding out I have HPV and serious cervical dysplasia has snapped (scared?!!) me out of it, and my eating habits are far more healthy again. Alcohol is now also at a minimum and I feel so much healthier and less bloaty.
My lletz is now on the 11th September so I'll update you then. Let me know how you get on :-)
Maddie.
Hey , how did you get on at your appointment? I hope everything went well. I am still awaiting my test results so still in an anxious state wishing they would hurry up so I could just know what I'm dealing with but trying my best to not think about it. X
