How much more

I went for the results of my mri and the meeting yesterday and I'm absolutely gutted. My 2b unwanted guest isnt a 2b, it's a 3!!!  Surgery not an option so chemo and radio it is but not until I've had a PET scan. I was terrified before but now I'm finding it really really hard to see any positive coming from it. Every time I get my head around 1 thing another comes along and smacks me straight back down again. Trying to stay positive just gets harder and harder. Is there anyone else going or been through this that can offer even a glimmer of hope. 

Hi Erin, I am in the same position as you , although initially staged at 3b, I was (I thought) downstaged to 2b but now all paperwork states 3b. The PET scan is fine. It's easy to believe that you are going to glow from head to toe. Certainly in my case that isn't true. I had a few lymph nodes glow in my pelvis but otherwise clear. I haven't started treatment yet, still having blood tests, CTs etc in the lead up. From my understanding (where I live) a 2b is treated in the same way as a 3b. I think they don't do surgery first as there is less chance of clear margins, meaning they then have to do chemo/rad as well.

I know this is probably the scariest time in your life, I'm right there with you. The process between now and starting treatment can be 4 weeks which feels like a lifetime. I start on 29th of this month. I've no real idea of what to expect.

Negative thoughts are normal but please don't let them consume you. I friend of mine sent me a post recently that read 'Don't keep calm and carry on. Wake up every day a bitch slap cancer till it's gone'.

Positive thoughts coming your way. Keep in touch.

Rachel x

Hi Rachel, 

Thanks for your reply. I was told to expect a change to the staging after the mri as it's common. I had just hoped that it wouldn't go up. Surgery has been ruled out as they would cause more complications and lessen the quality of life after treatment. I'm ok with the chemo/ radio way of treating though, I just want the best possible outcome asap. As yet I have no treatment plan or appointment for anything else and as a lot of people have said, it's this waiting part that's the worst. I was looking forward to finding out what the plan was and rising to the challenge. The logical part of me says ' it's there, it shouldn't be so get rid of it ' but like the GCNS says, the more they know the better the plan and more likely positive outcome.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this hell too. It seems far too many women are on this journey and many of them inspirational. 

Being positive has got me this far and that's how we are going to get out the other side 

Your friends post is the perfect way to put it. 

I hope all goes well with your treatment and I send positive vibes your way.

As you say keep in touch

Erin x

Sending you both big love from Greece

XXXXX

Tivoli

Ladies I'm sending you both positive thoughts & healing!! Rachel I can't believe your diagnosis is 3b!

xxx

I know!!! It's a bit conflicting as on some paperwork it's 2b and others 3b. Going to try to speak with cns tomorrow for some clarity. Primary tumour is large-scale 6x5x3.5 cm I think my oncologists letter said. Treatment starts 2 weeks tomorrow. Part of me is scared but a bigger part wants to get going now. Can't work because of op a couple weeks ago so slowly going out of my mind. How are you feeling? X

How are you doing Erin? X