how do you put it to the back of your mind

Ok Ill try to be short.

almost 2 years ago I went to the doctor with pain during sex, she put it down to me having just had a babby (5 months before)

I was having spotting thinking it was my period about to start but then nothing would come, a few times after sex I would spot and others I would bleed but I started thinking it was a coincidence that it was just my period.

I kep getting a weird sensation in my abdomin like there is something pushing in there and now I have a persistant back ache which is very low and spreads to my groin hip and sometimes shoots down my legs.

I have recently been diagnosed with hypothyrodism and blood tests were clear for infections. Im reliveved that hte tiredness has passed so I’m normal single mum tired.

The doctor recommended I have a smear which I had already booked myself in for as it was due and it came back borderline with evidence of HPV.

I cant explain why but I am convinced I have cancer and have been for about 6-7 months but I never wanted to say the doctor because I’m sure lots of people feel that way and are perfectly fine. its just a feeling that I know something is wrong I just dont know what!

doesnt help that both my grandmothers died of cancer and so did my son.

its weird though cause I’m not freaking out! I just want to know one way or another!

Have you got a follow up plan? A smear in 3 months? Colposcopy?  It's the mot knowing that's the hardest.

How to put it at the back of your mind?  Distraction and lots of it. I have 3 children so it's easy when they are awake but at night my mind wanders so I have to find a different distraction such as movies or games. Stay off Google it makes the anxiety worse.  

Meant to be getting a colposcopy but havent had a date through yet :-(