I am a freaking out 51 year old ! I went for a smear test last Tuesday. My last one was less than 3 years ago but I just had a feeling I should go for one so I requested it and said that I had some abnormal bleeding - which is true as my periods have been a bit strange the last year or so. But then as I am 51 I figure I am getting menopausal.
Whilst the nurse was doing the smear she asked if I had any discharge and I said not really, then she said, oh, ok well let's just wait for the results. Ohkaaaay ! That worried me so I said what did you see, do I have some massive growth or something and she was blasé about it and said no, don't worry just looks like candida. She said I'd get the smear results in 2 - 4 weeks.
So this morning I get The Letter - saying I have high grade dyskarosis and will be receiving an apt for a colposcopy within 14 days.
So I assume that the nurse put a priority on my test because of something she saw as I've got is result in less than 4 days !!
I've restricted my googling to reading the posts on this site and the cancer
research site - trying to be sensible but its hard not to be completely terrified.
I have a 6 year old son, an alcoholic loser of an ex husband who most definately could not bring up my son if something happened to me and I have to be honest, that is what worries me the most - what would happen to my son.
I've had lower back aches and problems for a many years, but never had anything checked out as I just figure it's the normal back aches everyone gets from time to time - in fact I've not been able to laze in bed for 10 years as every morning I am in pain when I wake up. It's been worse the last few years but you know what it's like with a kid, you don't have time to worry about every little niggle you have. I've been too busy being a single mum and working full time. So you can imagine the right now I am convinced I have not only full blown cervical cancer but that it's already spread out of control in my body - is that normal, to have those fears ?
The only thing stopping me from spiralling out of control with this fear is that I had both a gastroscopy and colonoscopy 18 months ago for gastric problems and both were clear. Plus the fact I've had clear smears regularly for the last 30 years. I am holding on to that as hopefully an indicator that if there was anything it would have been picked up by the endoscopies.
I dont expect anyone can allay my fears, but just getting this all down 'on paper' has helped
I just hope I get the colposcopy apt soon
I'm so glad I found this forum it's given me so much information for what is bound to be a very anxious next few months.
Thanks for listening