Here we go again but this time a cone instead of LLETZ (children mentioned)

i’m new to this forum and I think I’m just looking for support from people who’ve been through similar experiences. My family and partner are great but I sometimes feel that they don’t really understand. I had LLETZ treatment already in the past due to CIN 3 with clear birders but 2 years later a biopsy showed CIN 2 and my gynie recommended I have a cone this time.
I am feeling so afraid. Afraid that they will find something during the procedure. Afraid of feeling the pain after the procedure and the waiting time until the results come out. I keep imagining worse case scenarios. My partner and I really want children but if they find something that may never be the case.
pI’m sorry to sound like I’m winging. I’m just so afraid.

Hi Butterfly80, I want to stay don't be scared, but it's impossible to stop those feelings so I won't say that, however I'll tell you my story which may help you.... I was diagnosed with cc and CIN3 at colposcopy - I'd missed a smear so my CIN had lots of time to develops into the bad stuff - if you've already had lletz and are being monitored, it's unlikely you'll have given the baddies a chance to develop into cc - I hope that provides some reassurance. A friend of mine recently had the same experience as you and was found to be fine. I was very lucky that my cc tumour was small - so I was given a cone biopsy rather than the standard hysterechtomy treatment. I'm 32 and also considering a family so the thought of losing fertility was scary. My doctors made fertility preservation my top priority and were very, very good to me over that. As for the cone itself, I had this at the same time I had lymph node removal (to check for cancer spread). The cone biopsy was no problem at all, I barely knew it had been done! I certainly was never sore. I had some light bleeding and a couple of weeks later was a bit 'itchy' - but there was no pain at all following the cone procedure. I was knocked out to have it done & if possible I'd see if you can be too then you're none the wiser, must be quite uncomfortable if you're awake. I hope this had helped a little, of course your scared but there's plenty of girls like me that will understand your fears & tell you nothing is as bad as the waiting and then fear itself. Hopefully you can relax and enjoy a nice Christmas & this will all be taken care of very soon. Love, Lisagp

Hi Butterfly80,

Waiting is almost definitley the worst part- too much time to drive yourself insane with all the possibilities you can think of! Try to keep yourself busy to take your mind off things, if not only for a little while.

I don't know if you've already had the cone biopsy but I had it done just before Christmas. I only had to stay in one night and felt immediatley better once they'd taken the packing and catheter out! For me after that I felt more or less normal, just took it easy for a week. I did get a small infection but rang the hospital and spoke to one of my doctors who told me to go to a local GP and get a course of antibiotics- that cleared it up.

I was in a really similar position to you- terrified about them telling me we couldn't have children. But even when I was scheduled for a hysterectomy, the team's top priority was doing whatever they could to save any fertility they could. They talked about keeping my ovaries so we could have children by a surrogate. So although it's not ideal and not probably how you expected you would have children, it could still be an option if it goes down that route. 

Thankfully I'm now awaiting a trachelectomy instead, so they're going to remove my cervix and lymph nodes so there is still the chance I can carry a child. I'm hoping that for you the cone biopsy will be all you need but if not see if you would be eligible for the trachelectomy. There are only a few surgeons that can perform it but I'm sure if you pushed, you could get referred to somewhere that did it.

Keep positive and fingers and toes crossed,