Growth on cervics - I am terrified

Hi everyone.

I have been reading the forums for a couple of days. Scared stiff - not eating or sleeping properly. I’m a mess

I had my last smear end of 2015 and I have left it too long. I am stupid - I was told i had an ectropion and accepted that was it. I am now thinking it was early CC because fast forward to now, 2019 I had brown discharge for a few weeks, I was 41 at that time and then it stopped and all was fine.

Then last year, 6 months or so ago, I noticed 4-5 days before my period I spot but it’s minimal. Then it goes after I wipe and i get nothing till my period

September 2023 I had watery blood and a clot 4-5 days before my period and I panicked. But it went away and I haven’t had that since. Not heavy bleeding randomly but discharge seemed to be more. I developed lower back ache and a feeling of pressure in my rectum, like I’m sitting on something lower back ache like I need to poo but don’t. It isn’t always there but when I sit it is. Laying down it’s fine. Seem to feel like I want to wee, I’ve had this before and it mimics urine infection.

I went to see a specialist Gynae Thursday. Told him my worries and he did a smear which was all bloody cos I bled. He looked at my cervics, told me I have something there which he said polyp but wouldn’t say if it was cancer. Just kept saying I need to go hospital and have it removed to know. I was crying and stressed. He said maybe more than one too.
He then performed a transvaginal ultrasound which was all normal except he said he could see that thing on my cervix.

He got pictures up on Google of what mine looked like. He typed in polyp - he pointed at a large looking red ball thing. It looked scary and he said it looks like that. You’ll need to have it removed and to check for more.

I am now convinced with leaving my smear, the symptoms I’ve got - everything I’ve read. What if it’s too late and that was a tumour - how would the Gynae know? If they are both growths. Are polyps a certain characteristic.

I’ve read on here women got told they had a small polyp and it was cancer. So I really don’t know what to think.

I’m scared it’s a cancerous tumour.

I’m not able to eat. I am lay in bed upset and shaking.

I’m a gay woman, never had sex with a man but I know HPv can be passed.

My mum died 2014 of cervical cancer.