Going insane. Please help!

Hi ladies


Really relieved to find this website after a horrible time lately of worrying. Impressed by everyone's attitude and hoping you won't find me too pathetic if I explain why I am so very worried at the moment. My story so far (sorry for rambling I just need to get this out):


Ended up 'in the system' for cervical screening since age 21 when I had some intense abdominal pain, which is turned out to be caused by something else. Had a fair few 'borderline changes' ones and I also remember coming up positive for HPV at one stage. Then I had a normal one in October 2010. Nothing since.


At the same time, I have had a moderate cervical ectropion which was first noticed during the very first cervical screening I had. Cervix bled slightly on contact. Was told it was down to hormonal changes etc and was very common. Put up with it ever since and did occasionally get abnormal bleeding, which docs always said would be caused by this, was normal etc.


I am very conscious about cervical cancer and always keen to be screened. Had a smear done in October 2013. However, having put me through taking the sample this was rejected by the lab because it wasn't due. Got an apology letter etc. I was confused as it was due - it had been over 3 years since my last one. Also in the last year the abnormal bleeding has got a lot more severe, and led to some frankly horrific scenes sometimes during sex. I was unhappy with this and went back to my GP asking for a cervical screening and also explaining all the issues with the bleeding. I was examined at that point again and was told I had a large ectropion. She said she was 'not allowed' to do a smear as according to the system I was not due one until October 2014, but she would take some swabs to check for chlamydia and a few other infections and would also refer me to gynae dept of the hospital who would be able to treat the ectropion. I said again that I strongly felt a check should be done for pre cancerous cells/actual cancer, but was told the hospital would have to do this as the lab would just reject any smear they sent. 


I waited patiently several weeks for my hospital appointment about the ectropion, and well...it was horrible. Had a newly qualified doctor - which is fine, everyone has to learn - but she couldn't find my cervix for the first 10 minutes and I was being examined for almost 40 minutes. There was so much blood. She cauterised the ectropion with silver nitrate. Afterwards I was told that they hadn't carried out a smear as this was 'something for my GP'. Obviously by that point my cervix was very much cauterised so there wasn't anything I was able to do, so I had to trudge home, rather shakey.


That was 2 weeks ago and I just went back to the GP today because I really am very unhappy that they are refusing to check for anything more serious, especially given my cancer screening was overdue anyway. She checked my records again and agreed that I was overdue a screening - the last check on file was the one in 2010 and said it should be repeated in 12 months due to previous abnormal results (I don't remember that bit at all). She took a smear straight away and said she would make sure it got processed. However, she was concerned because when she took the sample there was a lot of new blood - even more than normal. So it looks as though the cauterising hasn't worked at all :(. She seemed concerned that my bleeding might in fact be caused by a tumour and said she would get me an appointment for a colopscopy ASAP. 


I am now going out of my mind with worry about this. It's 3 weeks for the smear results to come back, and even if I can get an appointment for the colopscopy before that I assume the results won't be back for more weeks? I have exams coming up and am really struggling to deal with the anxiety of everything - as so many of you say, it's the not knowing that's the worst! I just don't know what to think, is it likely that an ectropion would be this persistent? Could it be that which is still causing my bleeding despite the fact it was cauterised only a few weeks ago? I can't help feeling like it probably is something more sinister, and I regret so much not pushing more for the smears. I can't sleep or focus at all, I feel so worried. Can somebody please talk some sense into me? Since all this started I've been telling myself it's probably just hormones/something simple but I genuinely think this might be really serious. Am an absolute mess. 

Hi there.  I didn't want to read and not answer, though I'm afraid I have no idea about what might be the problem, as I've not had experience with it myself.  However, It was only a week after the smear that I got my results back, did they tell you it would be 3?  The nurse that did mine said that they'd been coming back quickly lately, though maybe it depends where in the country you are.  I'm having a colposcopy today, and I'm not looking forward to waiting for the results either...too much thinking time!  

If there is something found to be wrong, I'm pretty sure they will try and get things sorted for you asap, as that seems to be the case with other ladies on here who have had not so great results.  I know it is impossible not to worry, but just remember that at least things are moving forward for you now, and they are checking you out!


Remember, worrying is not going to make the days pass any faster!  I've been a wreck about my situation, but now the day has come, I realise that I've calmed down quite a bit.  

I hope that you get your results very soon and that you get sorted out!  Sending hugs. 

Morning.  I didn't want to read and run either. 

I'm also not too sure I can help. I know the waiting is the worst and I have been counting down the days or checking for post every hour but there are days when I can put it to the back of my mind.

I hope you get your answers soon


Hey .hello I know from experience the worry and anxiety you must be feeling at the moment but you also know your own body. I know it's difficult to put the fears behind you but you will go crazy if you overthink things...also my advice is do not google ..keep on at the docs until they sort you an appointment out. I wish you all the best xx

Firstly, well done for being so persistent and for getting through what sound like a horrendous experience so far. No wonder you are a bit freaked out.

If you have been referred for colposcopy, your appointment might take a little while to come through, but they will be able to take a good look at what's going on and should be able to give you some straight answers. I know women on here have had a variety of experiences with colposcopy clinic staff, but I found them to be very sympathetic and willing to answer questions. If you get someone inexperienced again or don't get a straight answer then ask to speak to someone more senior.  

In the mean time, if you were talking to a friend in the same situation as you, what would you say?  You'd probably say to her that worrying herself sick won't help and you'd try to get her to relax a bit. You might do something nice for her to try to distract her and stop her getting too focused on it while she is waiting. See if you can either do the same for yourself or get someone lovely to do it for you.

I realise it's a big ask when you are really scared but as others have said on here, if you can try not to let your imagination run riot, the waiting will be easier.

Good luck sweetheart, do let us know how you get on x




Thanks so much for the responses everyone. Just reading your kind words helped! I decided to just stop myself from looking at anything online for a bit as I couldn't focus on anything - I just needed to block it out. 

Anyway, I have been struggling to get a colposcopy appointment at the hospital. I was really chasing them about it and finally got given one for a few weeks' time when they decided actually, I can't have one because of my recent cauterisation treatment!! So that is extremely frustrating, obviously. They couldn't tell me why it was an issue or when I would be able to have the colp done. Then I got the best news - my GP did a smear and manage to persuade the lab to process it and that has come back normal. I don't know if the cauterisation would affect the results of that but I am told it shouldn't do. 

I still need a hospital appointment as they still think something is not right, but the smear result has obviously meant a huge weight off my mind. Fingers crossed it isn't anything sinister. And thanks again for all the support - I will be loitering around here so will keep you updated...hope to be able to post a positive story in the end! 


I'm having similar issues to this, wondering how things are going for you? X