Getting back to normal


On Friday I got the results that my lymph nodes are all clear and I’m over the moon.
It’s been 5 weeks since my radical hysterectomy and I’m doing well with recovery but my family keep telling me I need to just get back to normal but I don’t know what normal is anymore.
They have been constantly telling me that it’s over now and I need to get back to my routine.
My partner has taken a lot of time off work to look after me and our two children but they keep pushing for him to go back. I don’t feel I’m ready to deal with day to day things on my own yet.
On Friday I tried to do the school run to pick up my son but even through its only a 15 min walk there and 15 min back I was in so much pain.
Then there is my emotional state. I seem to cry for no reason but they told me it’s just all in my head and if I just get back to it ill be fine.
I’m starting to feel im over exaggerating things but everything went so fast I haven’t had time to stop and process what happened.


Hi Vikky

Everyone's physical and emotional recovery is different - however your op was only a month ago. It is too soon to be expecting to do your normal routine. I had my op on Oct 15th and I am actually only going back to work tomorrow- 12 weeks later. I am actually on a phased return too as advised by occupational health in work as they said I will be too tired to do full days just yet.

For me, the emotional recovery was much harder than the physical. The beginning of December was my "meltdown" period - 7 weeks after my op. I cried alot! I think it actually hit me exactly what I'd been through. My Macmillan nurse was absolutely fantastic during this time and was really supportive. I recommend you give yours a call xxx

Hi Vikky :-)

I would most definitely NOT expect you to put the whole thing behind you and 'get back to normal' as though nothing ever happened. Not at five weeks and not at five years. It's not as though you've had a tooth out. You may well need some counselling a little further down the line but at the moment you are still post-surgery. Even women who have non-radical hysterectomies for non life-threatening diseases are told a minimum of six weeks before you can expecct to be fully funtional physically. For us there is a huge amount of emotional baggage that goes with it and that takes much longer to come to terms with. Macmillan produce little booklets on a whole range of subjects and I'm sure there must be one to help your family understand that you cannot simply flick a switch in your head. Please ask everyone to stop pushing you else you'll end up with some serious psychological difficulties. This is NOT a 'brush it under the carpet' event!


Be lucky :-)

Hey hunni, sorry to say but our family need to be told!! It will take a long time before your back to your old self! I finished my treatment in October and I've gone back work this month as I love on my own and need the money - my body wasn't ready for it and now I'm aching all over with my joints and I am shattered when I get home. 

You need to explain to them that it takes time and emotionally it takes mum and nan were so over baring when I was going through treatment I snapped so many times they were smothering me! My mum won't back off even now and is constantly wanting to see me etc but won't accept I don't want to see her! I'm very independent and have been since I was little so I don't want people around me all the time annoying me.

I found that having my mcmillan nurse explain to her that I needed rest and that things take time etc she understood more but she does what she wants anyway! So maybe arrange an appointment and explain what is going on and have the worst member of your family there for the nurse to explain to them they may actually get it then xx


As everyone says it is very early days and I am glad you have posted here to get some support. My RH was in August and whilst I am probably older than you (45) I am not sure I could work full time (or care for young children full time) until 4-5 months post op. It took a Macmillan nurse to remind me (6weeks) and then the specialist nurse said it takes about a year to feel the operation isn't affecting you so much. At 10 weeks I could do stuff - walking, gardening, bouldering, cycling - but I also needed a good long rest during the day. And emotions... Well things continue to bubble up and I am seeking therapy now and going to a local cancer centre called Penny Brohn that is very good. Your GP might also be someone who can explain about the recovery to family.

The gynae cancer nurse explained that a RH is very rare and that people will equate it with a normal hysterectomy but it is very different! I have needed to explain this to people, it is a much bigger op. I am sorry that your family are not giving you time to recover, listen to your body and try to follow some of the great suggestions you have had. I hope you get everyone on board!

love Mitch