So I was told I have cervical cancer on November 19th. I find out what stage tomorrow. I’m trying to remain positive. I’m lucky enough I have a son already and my partner also has a son the same age. My partner is finding this more difficult than anyone. When I told him that the Drs have told me to expect either a hysterectomy or radiotherapy and chemotherapy as my treatment he’s gone into denial and is clinging on to the hope that I’m 1a and can remain fertile. My medical notes have 1b written on them and this was diagnosed just by sight, its possible its even worse. I’m hoping to get out alive, if I can keep my fertility then that’s a huge bonus. I’m now of the opinion that if I lose my fertility then I will also lose my partner. He’s so moody with me lately and I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I know it’s his way of trying to deal with everything but its destroying me and us. I know this paints him in a bad picture but he’s an amazing father and has always been an amazing boyfriend. We’ve talked of marriage and children and it was definitely on the cards.
This morning I’m swollen on my right side, I’m convinced its a tumour and its just making me assume the worst about my results tomorrow.