Get my MRI and CT scan results tomorrow

So I was told I have cervical cancer on November 19th. I find out what stage tomorrow. I’m trying to remain positive. I’m lucky enough I have a son already and my partner also has a son the same age. My partner is finding this more difficult than anyone. When I told him that the Drs have told me to expect either a hysterectomy or radiotherapy and chemotherapy as my treatment he’s gone into denial and is clinging on to the hope that I’m 1a and can remain fertile. My medical notes have 1b written on them and this was diagnosed just by sight, its possible its even worse. I’m hoping to get out alive, if I can keep my fertility then that’s a huge bonus. I’m now of the opinion that if I lose my fertility then I will also lose my partner. He’s so moody with me lately and I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I know it’s his way of trying to deal with everything but its destroying me and us. I know this paints him in a bad picture but he’s an amazing father and has always been an amazing boyfriend. We’ve talked of marriage and children and it was definitely on the cards.

This morning I’m swollen on my right side, I’m convinced its a tumour and its just making me assume the worst about my results tomorrow.

Hi Lauren

So sorry you have had to find yourself here but it's the best place for help and support.  I was diagnosed 1b1 at my initial appoitment and this was confirmed by my MRI, they are pretty good at diagnosing before the MRI.  I am older and although I have never had children of course it wasnt an issue in this circumstance.

I'm so sorry that your partner is being like that with you.  Perhaps he is really struggling with all of this but it's not fair for him to be moody with you.  You need to be open with each other and talk about your feelings.  Tell him how you feel and how much you need him on your side for this.

If you are a 1b girl then your swollen right side will not be a tumour.  We all assume the worst before our appointments but things will get better once you have your diagnosis and treatment plan.

Wishing you lots of luck for your appointment tomorrow, lets us know how you get on.

Big hugs

Cheryl,xx

Hi Lauren,

Big hugs... Let us know how you get on tomorrow.

I found peoples reaction to my diagnosis varied hugely. The unknowns are even harder for you and for him, see how you get on tomorrow and hopefully you can move forward together.

xxx

Hi Lauren :-)

This is an extraordinarily stressful time for both you and your partner and when we are under a lot of stress we often don't communicate as effectively as we might in other circumstances. Hopefully you will receive news today that reduces the stress. Either way, because you have received a cancer diagnosis there is a whole variety of support services available to you and your partner and I think that you and he might find counselling very helpful indeed.

We all get psychosomatic symptoms in the run-up to tests, usually it's best to try to laugh at them.

With very best wishes to you both
Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Thank you so much for your replies!!

Hi!! The results are in… I’m the winner of XFactor!! Well maybe not but I am diagnosed as 1b cancer and the magic word… TREATABLE!!
I’ve been told that the cancer is contained within the pelvis, it has not spread despite all the pelvic pain, back ache, chest pain, throat pain, breast pain, armpit pain ( yes even there) (just in case anyone else is experiencing any of these) every ache and pain, the Drs tell me, non of it is connected and that its all likely down to stress.

I have 2 enlarged lymph nodes, so have to have a PET scan, which I’m told should hopefully take place this week. This could be down to cancer or down to the LLETZ procedure or even that wonderful thing called stress!! The results of the PET scan will determine the treatment I will receive. As things stand the DRs are wanting to avoid surgery and are hoping that all I will need is radiotherapy and chemo. If my lymph nodes don’t have cancer then there’s a possibility (it may be a small one, but a possibility non the less) that I can maintain fertility, fingers crossed!!

As for my relationship it took me shouting at my boyfriend “well I’m not going to die so its good news to me!!” for us to finally air things out and talk. He’s offended that “I thought so little of him” and I told him he’s rubbish at communicating. His excuse is he “can’t deal with illness”. He’s rubbish but he’s going to try and talk more and I have to avoid subtly and just hit him with a sledgehammer!! Xx

So pleased for you x 

Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant! :-D
'Can't deal with illness' is a pathetic excuse! He'd have to deal with illness if it were him that was ill. You are a couple, half of that couple is ill. You are in this together and he has to accept this.

Be lucky! :-)
Tivoli
xxxxx

great news!

Sounds like some frank discussion will help you guys move forward... 

 

Big hug xx

So PET scan came back fine. The cancer hasn’t spread to my lymph nodes and appears to just be on the surface of my cervix. The Dr sounded really positive about this, but due to timing, Xmas etc I won’t be able to discuss treatment options until 04/01/2016. Does any one else have any experience similar to mine as maintaining fertility is important to me, but don’t want to get my hopes up too high as up until now they have told me to prepare for radio and chemotherapy. I’m beginning to wonder whether trachelectomy may be an option. They told me after MRI and CT scan that I’m confirmed as stage 1b but haven’t said if I’m 1b1 or 1b2. Don’t know how much this may make a difference xx

PS Thanks again for the replies, I really appreciate them xx

Really hoping you can get away with just a trachelectomy!

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Turns out things weren't as positive as I was led to believe. The dr told me today that they have no idea how deep the tumour is but that it's 21mm and that a hysterectomy is recommended but if I want a Tracalectomy then he would do that but the risks were astronomical. He told me it made no difference to him as it's the same procedure just different amounts taken out. 

Feeling confused, misled and lied to. Before Christmas the dr on the phone told me that the results show it was the "best news given the scenario". She knew how important fertility was to be and told me that the other Drs knew this too. I was so wary about getting my hopes up that I was scared to answer the call but those words were hers "best news given the scenario". 

I'm finding I'm losing all confidence in the medical profession. I've tried to remain so positive throughout this whole thing, put a face on, told everyone how I was ok, that I was going to beat this thing. My mask is slipping and I want to shut down, if just for a little while.

(((((HUGS)))))

So sorry to read this Lauren, you're obviously feeling lower than you were three weeks ago. I don't think that the medical profession ever lie to patients and it must be extraordinarily difficult to navigate the line between certain safety and over-treating. Where you are you have a team of doctors working together and it's likely that they have different opinions of the best route forward. These things will be discussed, debated and eventually agreed upon even if the agreement isn't unanimous. Here I just had a Head of Department who was also a surgeon who made an autocratic decision to give me a radical hysterectomy. I know that had I been in UK this is not the treatment I would have received and sometimes wonder if I was over-treated. But I am here, alive, joining in, and that is the crux of it.

(((((HUGS)))))
Tivoli

Hi Ren

On one of your previous posts you stated 

I'm not going to die

Focus on that and take whatever treatment is needed to make that happen 

Thank you.

I opted for a hysterectomy. I was then told that there had been a development and that its my only real option. By chance another Dr came across my scans and believes that it shows that the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. Only tests done after hysterectomy can confirm, which if the spread is confirmed then my stage will have moved from stage 1 to stage 3. Yet another contradiction to what i have been told previously. Trying to make the most of the time I have now as I just feel like its down hill from now on and I want to enjoy my tine while I can. I will continue to fight just with a smile on my face, if I can x