fuming (work related)

Hi everyone

I just wondered if any one has experienced similar to me! 

I wasnt particulary looking forward to returning to work as I work in a large company and I dislike attention of any kind, returning to work would involve questions etc which I didnt feel ready to answer, 

However everyone made me feel comfortable and things  soon returned to normal, 

I was called into the office on the second week of returning for my appraisal (which after an eventful time with CC I had very little interest in)  but when I was informed in a curt manner I was to be marked 

Down for having time off work and that my attendence was disappointing I was very upset,

I took the matter up with the Manager who compared Cancer with a common cold ( the same category) I was livid as having my womb and ovaries removed leaving me never to have my own children does not count as the same as a damn cold!

They went on to say it only means I will lose my bonus!

I dont expect any special treatment but I wondered if I am over reacting as I am very annoyed, my work collegues have been lovely and very supportive but are not in the same postion, I wondered if  anyone agrees that it is rather unkind treatment? Xxx 

That's disgraceful. Can you take it up with HR? I don't know much about employment law but you have every right to be furious

Yes, I have left a letter with HR stating that under the Equality act of 2010 anyone  with cancer is considered as the same bracket as a disabled person and therefore any mistreatment is considered as discrimination, I had a representative with me at the time who was so angered by  the company insinuating cancer could even possibly been considered the same as a cold, I await an outcome but its going to take a while to calm down x

So very glad you filed And had a representative with you. A cold?!? I certainly agree with your action. All my best.


That is totally out of order.  I am a HR Manager myself and as you pointed out cancer is covered by the Equality Act (previously the Disabilty Discrimation Act).  That is discrimination, pure and simple.  The principle of what has been done is bad enough but the mental anguish caused by being treated like this must be dreadful.  There is a useful page on Cancer Researh UK about The Disability Discrimation Act and cancer.

I really hope your employer comes to their senses and you get a full apology.

Hugs, Cheryl,xx

That's not on and I would be furious in your situation! 

If you can, take it higher. It's totally wrong that ypu should lose your bonus after such an illness and operation! 


Thanks all!

Yes, just wondered if I was overacting after everything thats happened I thought maybe Id become sensitive , my work collegues were all furious at how Id been treated too! It will also effect next years bonus and appraisal so finacially its a big deal! See what the company has to say for itself after they have read my letter! Thanks all x

Just when you think you can be shocked no longer.....Bloody disgraceful!!!

Hope you take them to the cleaners and get yourself some compensation,

for a lovely holiday.This just proves to me yet again,that WE are the most

important people not work.The first time it happened to me my old boss said

"Well,you should be better by now"(Male boss)My Dad said well ask him how

long it would be before he got over having his C**K chopped off LOL!!!Didn't

ask him but defo cheered me up.

Take care honey.All the best for the future

Becky x

Thanks Becky

you're right!

I like your Dads suggestion Lol, would love to say that but don't think it would be appreciated haha! Made me laugh x


How insensitive can you get?!!!  Your manager sounds awful!

I can sympathise.  I lost a proportion of my bonus due to the amount of sick leave I took - in my 10 years at the company I only had 2 days off sick prior to my 7 weeks off due to my cancer.  And that was because I was so ill I couldn't even walk to the toilet let alone go to work while 7 months pregnant!!

When I received my bonus I did complain to my manager but I was stuggling with being back at work and has been landed on a massive project with really tight deadlines.  I spent a truly awful year working 40 hour weeks (instead of my contracted 25 part-time) just to get the bare minimum of work done and meet the project deadlines (I still failed).  I was so worried that I would be called to task about the fact I was struggling (I was a senior team leader) that I tried to (unsuccessfully) hide the fact I was finding it so tough.  I've since changed job (so relieved!) and look back with anger that they did that to me when I was so vulnerable.

Your message has prompted me to see how unfair it is and I will definitely investigate how much bonus I lost and if sizeable speak to my old union about it.  I don't want to stir up trouble with my old employer but it does seem very unfair.

Let me know how you get on.

Best wishes

Kirsty x





Thanks Kirsty

sorry to hear how you were treated!

If I even manage to make the company have a rethink on how treating people with Cancer is a sensitive issue, some good will of come from it, yes will keep you informed if outcome ;-) x

Hugely unfair. I'm also in HR and can tell you that you are not over-reacting or being too sensitive. You have enough to deal with without having your bonus taken from you unfairly. I would love to see their faces when they get your letter and consequently contact their own solicitors to see where they stand, and be told how very in the wrong they are!

Best of luck with it, I hope they make the situation easier for all and don't try to fight this!!

Thank you jjcarnage I can see by the reaction of all the ladies that pretty much feelings are running high on this one,

A work colleague also said to me the stress of this alone is not right,

Not sure what they will come back with, however as you mention they will be informed they are in the wrong by their solicitors! x


Hi Else,


I had to submit a formal grievence to my MD due to my HR manager not letting me return to my role, but not giving me any decision on whether it was redundant or not. It was the most stressful time of my life, I was having panic attacks and had to take beta blo ckers to deal with it. My GP and consultant were appalled by the way I was treated. I called ACAS who put me in touch with https://www.equalityadvisoryservice.com/ who were AMAZING! They gave me so much advice throughout the process and I used one of their templates to submit my grievance - which was continued discrimination arising from a disbability. I also spoke with 2 employment lawyers who were willing to take the case on for free.

In the end my MD stepped in and smoothed it over with a new, better role and a pay rise after realising the mess they were in.

I'm still extremely annoyed that I had to go through that. It brought me to my knees, crying but you know what? For the first time in my life I absolutely stood up for myself and did not take any nonsense. I'm a changed woman!

Best of luck with it, keep talking to people as there is a lot of support and advice out there.

Much love xx

Hi Jo1982

Well, thats the thing, I found it quite hard to return to work in the first place as I had been off for quite a while, 

So to be downgraded really affected me, 

I currently have lots of other stressful situations occuring at the moment so it all seems to come at once but I have really been upset by this myself, I am just waiting for the outcome of my letter I have put to the company.

Glad yours was sorted and hopefully I will regain my inner strength soon haha! Thanks Take Care xx