Another visit to [name of hospital] to be observed as i cannot urinate through the usual passage, instead it's just leaking out from and unknown source where they think I have a fistula! they've said I need a little exploratary op to investigate and possibly fit a long term Catheter to give me quality of life and stop the excruciatingly painful bladder spasms, which I'm hoping is due to the amount of radio I had last year and not the rumour!

Also lying awake stressing over my partner, on wether he can cope with it all. He packed in work to help care for me only 2 weeks ago. Some days he will have a drink by 11.30 and then I'd have to do the driving which after a while is painful and tiring! If there's an emergency such as yesterday I had to come to hospital in severe pain I had to get my dad to come and take me. :( which he shouldn't have to do. I spoke to my partner over this and he's admitted he's struggling emotionally so we've got him a doctors appointment tomorrow. I won't stand for it wether I'm sick or not, specially around my children. I love my partner but sometimes I think he's being so selfish, then I think why shouldn't he have a drink an block things out! Then I think what the hell do me and my kids do to block things out! The ex husband has been amazing yet he was an absolute @&$¥?€ the previous years to being To me being ill. Is it just a man thing? It's true men are from mars woman are from Venus!

Think I've rambled enough and I should get some shut eye.. Good night guys xxx

It sounds as though you are having a really rough time of it. The men do find it hard, don't they?! I might be teaching granny to suck eggs here, as I think you have been going through this a lot longer than me, but could your other half take advantage of Macmillan counselling? I have had two sessions with a relate councillor, as Macmillan seem to have a link with them now (short of councillors!) and she has told me that my other half can come with me, or come on his own if we feel it's needed. It might be worth looking into.


Molly xx

What a selfish sod. But then alchoholics are, I should know I'm 5 years sober.

You have a choice and to me it's a no brainer but things are always easier said than done.

You have a a REALLY tough time ahead of you. Which should be filled with great memories for you and most importantly your children.

You DO NOT NEED extra weight to carry around emotionally and physically.

Believe me as the days gets tougher his drinking will get worser and you will spend your last days looking after him.

I know this is really harsh and will probably upset you, but it would not be fair if I didn't say it how it was.

Your ex, presumably the father of your kids, has stepped up. Great. You won't be facing it alone. Cut the dead wood.

Al-Anon and Al-ateen are fantastic support services for people living with alcoholics.


Oh and if he says I'm not an alcoholic....then ask yourself how many other people would get so drunk their sick partner had to drive around etc etc. People in control of their drinking don't do that!


You and your kids deserve far better!