Another visit to [name of hospital] to be observed as i cannot urinate through the usual passage, instead it's just leaking out from and unknown source where they think I have a fistula! they've said I need a little exploratary op to investigate and possibly fit a long term Catheter to give me quality of life and stop the excruciatingly painful bladder spasms, which I'm hoping is due to the amount of radio I had last year and not the rumour!
Also lying awake stressing over my partner, on wether he can cope with it all. He packed in work to help care for me only 2 weeks ago. Some days he will have a drink by 11.30 and then I'd have to do the driving which after a while is painful and tiring! If there's an emergency such as yesterday I had to come to hospital in severe pain I had to get my dad to come and take me. :( which he shouldn't have to do. I spoke to my partner over this and he's admitted he's struggling emotionally so we've got him a doctors appointment tomorrow. I won't stand for it wether I'm sick or not, specially around my children. I love my partner but sometimes I think he's being so selfish, then I think why shouldn't he have a drink an block things out! Then I think what the hell do me and my kids do to block things out! The ex husband has been amazing yet he was an absolute @&$¥?€ the previous years to being To me being ill. Is it just a man thing? It's true men are from mars woman are from Venus!
Think I've rambled enough and I should get some shut eye.. Good night guys xxx