Freaking out

Ok, so I've been plodding on with life waiting for appointments and treatment to start and ive been ok, or as ok as I can be....

This evening I've really freaked out at the percentages of being cured (I know this is individual) and then the risks of further cancer from treating this one!!!

It's dawning on me that this will never be over, always worrying. I know it's mind over matter but today my mind can't get past it x

I've got advanced cancer and I don't think you ever get over the worry and you will worry about every pain and twinge that happens to your body. It's not nice but having a good support network of friends and family helps I find and having someone to talk to about your concerns etc. I have my treatment every 3 weeks and before this I have a meeting with either my doctor at the hospital or a head nurse which has all my notes and they always ask how I am feeling and coping etc and telling them if the treatment is rough - I would get pins and needles in my hands and feet cos of the type of chemo I have with it being advanced and I mentioned this and she amended the chemo so I no longer get it.

You are also entitled to a mcmillan nurse who comes to your home and helps with all sorts from pain relief to being someone to talk to.

I recently has good news that the treatment is working after 4 sessions of chemo and I already knew it was working as I know my own body as will you. It's strange but we find strength in the strangest of places having something to win for helps even if it's just for a phycological reason - pardon the spelling x

Thanks Carmel for this up-beat post, I'm sure Sweet pea will find it tremendously helpful coming as it does from somebody with an advanced case :-)

Sweet pea, you will find that you have ups and downs on this emotional roller-coaster but please do try not to Google survival rates or any of that old blather. Does it help if I tell you that to work out 5-year survival rates they haave to collect data that is at least five years out of date? That advances are being made all the time and that in five years time those survival rates, which will include YOU will most likely show an improvement? I hope it helps. I too was terified by those and simply used that information to make every day count. My life is now so much better than it was before I got my diagnosis. I hope the same turns out to be true for you as well.

Be lucky :-)

Hi Sweet Pea,

Please take the good advice from both Carmel & Tivoli, with regard to what you read on the internet.

When I was first diagnosed, I done just that too and spent a very low weekend thinking life was all but over.

Now, having got things into perspective, that I have an early stage diagnosis, that I have already started my treament, and I've had a PET scan indicate that there is no sign of any other problems anywhere else whatsover, so I'm lucky to have been caught so early.

The waiting is the hardest part of all, it's the unknown, once you start your journey, your energy focus will change,

Hang in there and stay strong,

Feisty xx

Thanks all for the wise words!

It's not the internet percentages, it's the percentage of a cure rate given me by my consultant..... Then the percentages of possible risks and complications!

Maybe I should ask for a PET scan, or ask why I haven't had one.

Just want to get going with it all now x


Sounds like your consultant is one of those who believe that having all the scientific information at your fingertips is somehow 'empowering'. Perhaps he has a touch of autism, it's quite common in very bright people.

Be lucky :-)

I would like to add my experience if that's ok. I am 13 days out from a radical hysterectomy and pelvic clearance ( lymph nodes) for cervical cancer, having lost my colon to colon cancer 6 years ago. So I am a bit if a veteran, if you will.




when I went for the pre-op assessment for my surgery, the lovely senior reg asked me if I wanted to stop or get a glass of water when she was telling me about the possible long term side effects etc. I didn't realise, but apparently I went completely white, lol. I hadn't thought about lymphoedema or bladder damage, although I had given though to damage to my J-pouch from my previous surgery.


The stats she gave sounded alarmingly high to me, although she tempered them with reassuring me I had the best of all surgeons and that has already been stated here, stats used right now are OLD.


I am just starting to feel a little more normal following my surgery- even though I have had to have the catheter reinserted because I failed my TWOC appointment and my bladder isn't cooperating right now.


At this point, the most important thing to me is, the tumour is GONE and I know the wonderful surgeons have given me the very best chance of living to see my youngest grow up. It doesn't appear at the moment that I will need chemo but I won't know for sure until next Tuesday .


Waiting for treatment is horrible. I was so lucky that mine was so quick- smear results end of April and then I was on a roller coaster which led me to my surgery on 25 June. The hospital group I have, have a very strict timescale for dealing with cancer . My first cancer however, I waited almost 9 months and the cancer moved up a stage in that time! I just about went crazy trying to sort the whole thing out, but I honestly believe things have improved a hundred-fold in the last 6 years.


You need to work on those things you can control- get yourself as healthy as you can be before any surgery or treatment. I was advised no alcohol , reduce sugar ( makes your system acidic apparently ) and a high protein diet- you need high serum albumin to heal.


Can you re-start anything you have found relaxing in the past? Some form of sport, swimming, listening to music or bi-neural rhythms ( loads on you tube- my youngest got me into those for migraine- and it works!) walking, running, have a massage, reflexology treatment ( extremely relaxing- I am attained reflexologist myself.)


Don't be like me, and try to cross bridges before you even get to them! It will drive you crazy.