First Smear Test Awful

Hi all, 

New here. I had my first smear test yesterday and had a really hard time with it. I felt so anxious about booking it, and after putting it off for a year using COVID as an excuse I finally went, and convinced myself it wouldn't be that embarrassing and the nurse had seen it all before, and plenty of people had told me it's super easy and didn't hurt. 

During my test I found the speculum opening and being there really uncomfortable, the nurse didn't say very much throughout or after, she advised me what she was doing but after reading people online saying their nurse told them 'they had a healthy looking cervix' i found that her saying nothing and the whole situation started to panic me. She said my cervix bled when she did the test, though I didn't see any evidence of this later on so it  must have been fairly minor and can't have been as bad as i imagined it when she said it. I basically ran out of the doctors as fast as I could when it was all done and then sat outside completely overwhelmed, shaking and feeling faint. Fast forward to getting home and I cried for a solid hour, and i'm not sure if it's because i just felt unprepared due to everyone saying the nurses were always chatty and it wouldn't be painful that I found it so stressful. 

Now I'm anxiously awaiting results feeling terror that i may need to go through that again if they come back abnormal, as well as being convinced not having the HPV jab in school out of fear means I will have an abnormal result. I guess I'm just looking for any reassurance, I'm not sure why I've found it so difficult and I'm not sure how to not keep worrying about it for the next 6 weeks or so as I wait for results, any advice or reassurance would be super helpful, as I have no one to talk to right now as everyone around me seemingly finds smears easy. 

Ohhh I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience, especially for your first one! My first one wasn't great either but I've been 3 times now and never had a nurse tell me anything about how my cervix looked and I did bleed at my latest one but I only knew because I seen her sorting stuff after.

Feeling faint is normal after a smear. I only found this out after having a colposcopy though which I know is longer but they tell you to get up slowly etc. I know a smear is quicker but they're still messing around up there so your body can just make you feel faint after.

 

I will say if you have got an abnormal result colposcopy is a whole different experience in my opinion. I've been twice now. The first time I had a doctor and 2 nurses in the room offering to hold my hand etc. The second time it was just 2 nurses and as it was last year no offer to hold my hand but still so supportive. They need you to be as relaxed as possible. 

everyone experiences things differently and just because others find them easy should not diminish how you feel about them. My own mum is 50 and is still terrified every time she goes. 

the waiting is so awful, I've been through it a few times now. Just put a funny film on tonight, get some chocolate and let yourself cry as much as you need to ❤️

Hi lovely Daisy Rose has given you some wonderful advice and words of wisdom.

 

Rather than put off having a smear in the future please do speak to your GP about how it has made you feel. They can organise counselling, talk to you about muscle relaxants and reassure you about your cervix.

 

I have had three smears and I've never had the nurse say anything about my cervix. We are usually chatting away about something ridiculous. Once it was frog Phobias! (My nurse, not me, haha).

 

You can also ring Jo's helpline and talk it through with someone who can empathise. And there are great relaxation tracks available on YouTube too, to help calm you.

 

Good luck with your results. Try and be kind to yourself as much as possible x

Thank you so much for your comments, they've really helped put my mind at ease and made me feel like how I've been feeling is okay! 

I've reflected on it a bit now and I think with it being my first one I kind of got a picture of it in my head from everything I read online and it threw me off that everything went a bit differently and I didn't find it painless and easy. I think in future I'll make sure I take someone with me to wait outside incase I feel slightly faint after (I didn't this time and sitting outside trying not to pass out before walking home was not ideal!). I definitely won't put smears off in the future, I think for now I'll put this bad experience down to stress around the whole thing, so just got to wait and see what the results are, fingers crossed all okay! smile

I got my results back today, very glad it only took 2 weeks and not 6, but HPV negative so low risk! I just wanted to say thanks again for the comments, and the first screen was tough but the comments definitely helped me feel like everything I felt was okay, and when the time comes to go again I definitely won't delay in the future like I did this time, so thank you :)