~Bit of back history~
When I was 14 had lower back pain for 6+ months. Was back and forth to Dr and they did scans and didn’t see anything. I hadn’t started my period and the Dr’s didn’t think to ask about this. One day in public all this blood started pouring out of me, ambulance was called, paramedics asked if I was sexually active, I wasn’t. They said it looked like a miscarriage cause there was so much blood. Went to hosp. Turns out my period had been building up for those months which caused the pain. They never checked why.
Fast forward a few years, in long-term relationship. Tried to have sex with bf, his penis wouldn’t go in, felt like he was hitting a brick wall, my legs would tense up and close. Thought it was vaginismus, turns out I had a very thick hymen - this could be why period built up? Hymen was removed and I am now able to have sex comfortably with my bf. We have to go slow to get it in at first though, as it can take a while for me to relax.
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Decided to book for a smear, I just moved to Canada and they start them at 21 here. I hadn’t had mine yet. Had my appointment today. Told the dr it was my first one and she was lovely and said she would explain everything. She went through all of the tools with me. She went to insert the speculum and my legs tensed up (like they would years ago) and it was extremely painful for me. This is the first time in a long time that my legs have tensed up like that - probably because I am very comfortable with my bf but the dr is new to me. I ended up really upset as I just couldn’t relax. She is aware of my past problem and said that may be why I tense up. She also said I have a narrow vagina and am very petite. She said she would order in a pediatric speculum to try on me but it will take about a month to arrive. She explained that speculum is smaller and may help.
I am so worried I will never be able to have a smear test because of how I react. I am completely ok with sex now but I guess because my nurse is a new person to that region I tensed up. Does anyone have any advice?