First Scans Post Treatment Panic!

Hi Ladies

This is my first post although I have been using the site for a few months now and found it wonderfully helpful.  I was diagnosed with Stage 1b2 CC with lymph node involvement in April this year and finished Chemoradiation and Brachytherapy in July.  I am now at the point where I am having my first scans to see if the cancer has gone.  Its been a VERY long 4 months and I am now having a panic and the demons are in my head.  I had a large 7cm tumour and aparently my pelvis lymph nodes were lit up like a Christmas tree before I started treatment.  I had an MRI scan a few weeks into treatment which showed all the lymph nodes appeared to have returned to normal and the tumour had shrunk in half.  I found the treatment really tough as I had horrid sickness from the chemo and a very bad tummy although I was luck and had no skin changes.  The Brachytherapy was endured although it was the most painful experience of my life!!!  I was so relieved to get treatment over and done with.  However, since then I have really struggled mentally with 'the fear'!!  I am convinced that every lump and bump is cancer.  Because it was in my lymph nodes I am terrified that it has spread. I have a few lumps in my chest (which is probably fat to be fair) but now I have given myself secondary lung cancer!!

I have also had a bit of trouble with the dialators.  I have been using them regularly but at no point have I stopped having a slight bloody discharge when using them.  I know this is probably scar tissue but it makes the whole thing very traumatic.

I had my MRI scan on Monday and have a CT Scan this Sunday with results from my Oncologist next Friday.

How have you other ladies coped?  What if its bad news?  I keep dreeming of the magic 'all clear' words but I dont want to jinx myself.  I am a very practical person so staying positive is hard because I am also trying to be realistic. 

Apologies for the essay but i have yet to actually meet another lady with cervical cancer and this is a hard time!  I am going to the Jo's trust meeting in Norwich this Saturday so hopefully i will meet some of you wonderful ladies then.

Can anyone offer any advise?  particularly in regards to lymph nodes?

Thank you and much love!

Anna Sparkles

Hi Anna

 

I like you had lymph node involvement, I had a radical hysterectomy in August and histology showed minute involvement of two of the 28 lymph nodes they removed.  So I had chemo and radiotherapy.  Like you I think every lump and bump is secondary cancer.  I have had problems with my bowels and my water works and 2 days ago it started to sting when I have a wee and I have a little bit of yellow discharge, plus internal itching.  I rang my cancer nurse today crying in panic that it may have come back.  I am now seeing my consultant on tues.  You are not the only one that is worrying, we are all doing it, and its normal to worry.  Good luck for next week, I am very sure everything is going to be fine.

Love

Emma 

xx

Thanks Emma.  I have followed your story on here and I think you have been so brave and amazing.  I think the problem is that I no longer trust my body.  In a backwards sense I feel let down because of the cancer and so I dont have a rational response to body 'niggles' which everyone experiences.  I do however trust my Oncologist so I am just gonna have to suck it up and wait to see what he says next week. 
Keep fighting!!

Anna x

Thats it Anna it is a feeling of being betrayed, my auntie cervical cancer (auntie through marriage), her tumour was large, she had the same treatment as you, 23 years later she is still knocking around,  Thanks for following my story haven't always been brave its difficult isn't it.

xxx

Thats it Anna it is a feeling of being betrayed, my auntie cervical cancer (auntie through marriage), her tumour was large, she had the same treatment as you, 23 years later she is still knocking around,  Thanks for following my story haven't always been brave its difficult isn't it.

xxx

Hi Anna & Emma

I too had lymph node involvement and have gone through quite a bit of treatment due to an unusual c/c - I certainly have found that during the actual treatment I didn't worry that much as I was literally seeing someone every week but now I feel every ache, twinge , lump and bump is it back again - probably not helped by the fact that my last scan a couple of weeks ago showed a couple of fluffy areas as my oncologist put it which were not clear as either c/c or inflammation so having to wait for another scan in Jan.

Thinking of you both

Naomi

Thanks Naomi.  Its the wait which is really stressful!  Had my CT Scan yesterday which was fine and my appointment is on Friday.  Feel a bit calmer this week as I know I am near to getting answers and I will deal with whatever I need to.  Saying that, my mum moved in with me for this week and we put up the Christmas tree which also mad me feel better.  Luckily I was able to go to a Jo's Trust local meeting on Saturday and meeting other ladies in the same boat was so reasuring from a metal health point of view.

We all have to keep fighting but it helps to know that I am now alone and that I am here for others too!

Anna xx

Hi ladies. Just wanted to update you with some good news. Saw my oncologist today wo confirmed I was in Complete Remission. No sign of cancer anywhete! I feel like I have been holding my breath since April when I got diagnosed and am breathing out for the first time. So relieved and its another big hurdle over. Dont loose sight of hope!!! Anna xx

Hi Anna, what brilliant news - I am so, so pleased for you.  I had read your post and had been looking out for an update.  Now you can relax and enjoy Christmas - hope you have a wonderful one!

Love & hugs, Cheryl

Hi Anna, brilliant news!! So happy for you!

Hi Emma just to say you in my thoughts too, also been following your story-you've had so much to deal with, may it get easier & easier xxx