First repeat smear after treatment

Hi Everyone,

I've been a bit of a stranger to this group for a while. After I finally received a clear result following severe abnormal cells in January 2015, I tried to distance myself to try and clear my mind of what had happened. I've been dreading the day my letter would come to say I was due my next smear but the day is finally here.

Within seconds of opening the letter, i'd made my appointment for next Monday, but now I can't get it out of my head and I'm starting to panic.

There is so much going over my mind. What if it's come back, what if it never went properly in the first place? 

I'm using this post more to write down my fears as a way of getting them out, as I don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I tried mentioning it to a friend and just got back 'oh it'll be fine'. And yes it might be fine, but I just hoped they'd listen to my thoughts and try and understand how difficult this is for me.

This group got me through the 14 months of test results and my operation last time, and I hope you all don't mind me coming back for more support after being so distant the last 3 years.

Thank you for reading :) x

Am guessing you are now waiting on results.... wishing you lots of luck xxx

Hi Fiona, 

Snap I had my first repeat smear since Lletz treatment this week! It was pretty traumatic as nurse couldn't find my cervix. Doctor came in and found it straight away luckily! However i have convinced myself that she called the doctor in as she saw something! 

I feel sick every time an unknown number pops up on my phone and I check the post with dread!! Nurse said results are taking 6 weeks at present- sooner for bad news!! 

I am petrified truth be told! My experience last time triggered a period of real anxiety for me and it hasn't really gone away since! I would so love for a normal result so I can try to put this terrifying experience behind me! 

 

Thinking of you and and wishing you all the very best!! Let's hope both of our cervix are extremely and fantastically boring this time round! xx

I really understand what you are going through.  I was diagnosed with stage 1 cervical cancer in 2015 after atte all my smears every three years.  I have been seeing my doctor every 6 months for the last two years and he has now said he only wants to see me once a year.  That petrifies me as I'm so scared it will come back.  

What I am trying to say is that you are not alone worrying.  Nobody really understands what we have been through and so it's easy for them to say 'everything will be fine.'  What I will say to you is.....cervical cancer develops over several years and the chance of abnormal cells or cancer returning early stage is very small.  Try not to worry and think positive.

sending you all good thoughts xxx

Thanks for all your comments ladies. As scared as I was I genuinely believed the test itself wouldn't be so bad. How wrong I was. It was so painful and I had the most awful nurse as I've changed doctors.

When I walked in she said 'so you've just had one clear smear before?'. I started to explain my situation and for about 20 seconds in before being told she didn't really care about that and as long as my last result was clear that's all she needed to know.

I feel if she'd of listened to what I had to say, she might have been more gentle or at least been slightly bothered when I was led crying in pain during the test.

I'm now just anxiously waiting results which I have been told will be about 2 weeks and I'm almost 1 week in so hopefully won't be long. 

I really appreciate all your comments and I hope Linds that we both have the best news this time xx

Well I got my results back today. I still have hpv but I showed no abnormal cells so I'm back in 12 months. I'm counting that as a win for now :)