First post.. severe dyskaryosis

This is my first post here. I’ve been awake on and off all night so can tell my anxiety is increasing, and Im really in need of some support from people who may be able to understand a little of how I’m feeling.

I received a phone call yesterday from my local hospital booking me in for a colposcopy next weds. The man on the phone said I had severe cell changes.

I’ve been attending yearly cervical screenings for the past 3 years due to HPV.
Last year I attended a colposcopy because of borderline changes. The lady who did it said it was very minimal so I’d just be put back into the system for my annual screening. Now a year on the changes are apparently severe? I’m firstly feeling concerned how this can develop in a year? I mean from borderline to severe?
I’ve got a really difficult history with a number of issues that have led to my anxiety and mental health problems.
I had a huge ovarian cyst removed when I was 19 and lost one of my ovaries in the process, this led to a long battle with anorexia. (Which thankfully I managed to get the right help for) and have lived healthily since the age of about 28.
I’m now 35. I had a stillbirth in 2018 followed by the birth of my now 3 yr old in 2019.
In the past year I’ve had a lot of difficulties with my stomach and been back and forth to the drs with pain, nausea, weight loss and lack of appetite. I was placed on omeprazole in the summer which has seemed to help a bit. I put it all down to stress and anxiety, but now I’m worrying it’s all been a sign of something more sinister going on.
I also had an iud put in in March and have been getting a lot of period/pelvic pain since . (Another thing I’m now worrying about)
I feel like all the issues with my ‘female anatomy’ for so many years has taken such a toll on me and I’m thinking well this must be it.
I can see there is a lot of irrationality in my thoughts, but the anxiety is so intense.
I’m just so scared I’m going to be told i have cancer.
The past year is the first time I’ve felt some real happiness again after losing my first daughter in 2018 and now I feel crushed about the thought of being unwell.
Although I’ve had a lot of issues with my stomach this year I’ve really tried to turn my mental health around, but this has just knocked me.
I know I must just wait until next Wednesday, but I don’t know how I’m going to get to then without breaking down.sorry for such a long message. I just really needed to get some of this out. X

I understand how you are feeling and it does help to talk to people on here who understand. First it may not be cancer so try to remain positive, but if it is you have caught it early and it will be curable
Take care and look after yourself :heart:

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Thanks so much for your response. I already feel a little lighter today just because I’ve reached out on here.
Yesterday after the phone call I felt so physically unwell, but can see after some(although not very good) sleep I just need to do my best to distract myself to get to next weds and try keep the anxiety down. When I see myself tumbling into a hole with all my negative thinking must remind myself to try and be calm… and see what everything brings next week.

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It is a shock at first but as you say keep busy and the week will fly by and if you need to talk about anything there’s always some lovely ladies on here
Thinking of you and keep us posted on how you get on xx

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