I'm 26 and had been putting off getting a smear for ages due to the fact I suffer (and always have done) from pain at my vaginal opening so assumed the procedure would be incredibly painful. When I finally went I was a nervous wreck and immediately went into 'verbal diarrhoea' mode to the nurse who tbh didn't seem particularly sympathetic. She bought a tray with 2 sizes of speculum over and I asked if she could use the small one and use lots of lube. She didn't tell me what she was doing, but miraculously it didn't hurt. I am assuming she used the small one because of this as I didn't even feel particularly stretched.
Anyway, once that was over I was happy to forget it for 3 years, but oh no. Within a week of my smear I'd received an appointment for for a colposcopy saying I had 'high grade dyskaryosis'. The information given to me wasn't much so I resorted to Google.... And now I'm terrified!
Apparently they have to use a much larger (metal!) speculum when they do the colposcopy to get a better view. I don't know how I'm going to handle this... Surely the fact I need a small one will be in my notes? Also I've heard the biopsy can be agony.. However as I didn't really feel my smear does that mean I might not have much feeling there anyway?
I also read sometimes you're not allowed someone to go in with you? I'm taking my bf but I think I'll panic if they tell me he can't come in. Why do some people say there were TWO nurses in with them? The fact it says a nurse will be there to support you makes me think it's going to be extra traumatic.
I just have such a fear of not being in control, I'm fine with pain and needles (have numerous piercings, regularly give blood etc) but I hate when I not in control. I just have a fear of lying down not being able to see what they're doing and having my legs up so I can't escape.
Please give me so nicer experiences than the horror stories I've read so far! I can't think of anything else, I've been up since 5am googling things and worrying.