Feelings after treatment

Hello ladies
I wondered if anyone else has been theough or is going through anything similar to me.
I had a RH & chemoradiation august - november 2021. Was off work until march 2022.
Have been clear of CC since, i have had issues with pains in lower abdomen, pelvis, right side groin and numbness and tingleing down right leg. Medication from GP helps me to be able to carry on most of the time, however had a few occasional days where ive had to have time off work and stay resting to help ease the pains.
Ive been really good mentally, and stayed positive about everything, until a few weeks before Christmas when i became really depressed, feeling anxious, tearful and just really really down, i constantly think about it and what will happen if i have a reccurence, and they cant do anything for me, or that the treatment causes it to come back elsewhere. I have been off work for almost 1 month now, im on HRT and antidepressant however im going to ring docs to discuss dose as i feel it needs increasing.
I feel like its all just hit me at once.
I dont feel like im ready to go back to work yet, my manager has been ringing me weekly and wants to arrange a home visit, as per HR advice, but i dont feel up to it, this is adding to my feelings of anxiety. i just feel like i want to stay in at home and not see anyone, i wondered if anyone else had felt like this after so long after finishing their treatment ? And if they could offer any advice ?

Hello
Whilst I am fortunate enough not to have had cc, I do have experience of trying to manage the anxiety of waiting for test results and managing fear of uncertainty and can recommend Jo’s helpline. MacMillan are also excellent and can advise you on your rights at work. From research on their forum, I discovered that it is not unusual for people to suddenly be hit by the enormity of it all after the treatment ends - there is a post on MacMillan called ‘After the treatment ends, what then?’ Hopefully you will have more replies soon. Please don’t suffer in silence. Were you also assigned a CNS at the hospital who could support you psychologically? I hope this helps. A x

Hi A.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I will have a look at macmillan page, i dont really go on there tbh.
I have left a message for my CNS so will talk to her about it all when she gets back to me.
I just feel like ive no confidence at all, im even questioning my ability in my job. I went into surgical menopause following my operation so im also having a range of other symptoms relating to this despite being on HRT. I can be talking to someone and im ok then i will be totally unable to think of a word for something, this makes me feel really anxious and is adding to my worries about going back to work. I feel as though people think well its over now, and that i should be ok, and part of me just wanted to get back to normal and put it all behind me, so i try to put on a front but its getting to the point now where i cant do it anymore and the thought of going back and having to face everyone after time off (again) is making me worry even more .
I cant sleep either so thats not helping.
Thanks again for your reply
X

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Hi Lynzibelle and thank you for your reply; good that you have a CNS who you can talk to but I would also advise talking to your GP and to MacMillan whilst waiting for your CNS to get back to you. Your GP needs the full picture of what’s going on and will also be able to advise you about your return to work. Have you considered a phased return? Also MacMillan have an advice line about work as well as health concerns. Sleep is so important to help us to cope emotionally - I hope you manage a good night’s sleep soon. Hope this helps.
A x