Feeling worried

Hi all

Today I had my MRI and CT scans to confirm cc stage, I was told 1b on Monday but that couldnt be confirmed as my consultant can't be sure it hasnt spread further, hence the scans.....I'm now worrying and thinking the worse and that it may be much worse that anyone originally thought.....I seem to be having lots of bad days and can't feel positive at all, I feel as if I have this massive brick wall in front of me and I'll never be over it....can anyone relate to these feelings?!! 

Kelly x

The waiting is definitely the worst part Hun it's so difficult to think about anything else. But if you can try to keep busy doing things you normally enjoy as thats what made waiting barable. 

Try to keep positive if you can, they have do these scans to have a clear picture. Horrible waiting in the mean time but very likely it will be that stage but they need to be sure Please keep posting on here lots of lovely ladies to support you on your good and bad days. Xxxx

Ps I can totally relate to having bad days and a brick wall feeling so only normal, likely you are still in shock too. It's a massive thing emotionally too. Lots of love xxx

Hi there, all totally normal. I was a 1b1 girl too, diagnosed after a Lletz. Waiting really is the worst!

The docs are pretty good at gauging what stage it is at but need to be 100% sure with the scans so that they can give you the very best treatment. They do thsee scans with EVERY case of cc as standard practice, so it does not mean that they suspect it has spread, they are just making sure and being thorough.  I found it helped me to take control of the things I could so I concentrated on getting myself as healthy as possible for the treatment ahead (ate more fruit and veg, did yoga and meditation etc.) it stopped me fixating on it too much and I felt like I was doing something proactive.  I hope you have the results you want very soon xxx

You don't have to be positive! You can be pigging miserable, think you are riddled with it and are going to die. that is allowed and perfectly understandable!

the beauty of thinking like that is that 99% of the time the worst never happens. It's perfectly normal to think the worst. Don't beat yourself up about it. wallow if you want. It's allowed. X

hi there, just want to wish you all the very best and much luck to you xo. I'm feeling like you right now.  365days and the other ladies you give the best words/advise/wisdom :)

Nellie is spot-on, in the vast majority of cases the staging stays exactly as the consultant's original assessment and everybody gets scanned just to make absolutely sure. It's a scary old time but it will pass quite quickly.

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Hi ladies, I was diagnosed with advanced CC on the 3rd March this year and I have just finished my treatment. I had a scan before I had bracatherpy and my cancer has shrunk from being huge to the size of a pea!

What I'm saying is no matter what the outcome is if mine can shrink then you can and will beat this! Yours stronger than you think trust me - I'm only 28 and I've got to this stage with positive thinking it's bloody hard trust me! The amount of times I've planned my funeral is unreal! I know I'm not out of the woods and may never hear those precious words we all want but I'm staying positive until I'm told otherwise! 

Your on the biggest roller coaster of your life and there is going to be good days and bad days and some days where you want to give up - been there got the t shirt! But you need to be strong and tell yourself that the cancer does not rule you it doesn't define you and it dam well won't beat you!

If you would like to talk you can private message me I don't mind.

Good luck xx

Thank you so much for your reply....it really does help me keep positive hearing other people's journeys....I'm so down most of the time I can't eat , sleep or think properly, its so hard staying focused and positive xxx

Carmel's right, we can beat this disease. It's almost four years now since my 2b diagnosis and these days I hardly ever have a wobble. If it will put a smile on your faces then click on my name in pink, which will lead you to my profile. In there you will find 'My Big Fat Greek Hysterectomy' which is the story of how I got to be here :-)

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Hey,

just wanted to post and offer my support. Lots of words of wisdom above....particularly Nellie's comment about the scans being standard procedure. The rollercoaster of emotions are completely normal. If you click on my name in pink you can see that i have posted a few times previously about this. You will feel a lot better once you have scan result. Every twinge, ache, cough, sniff between now and then though will convince you that you are riddled with cancer. I did exactly the same. Try and keep busy. Dont google your symptoms and use this forum as your sounding board. There are lots of lovely ladies on here who can help cxxxx

Melanie, I'm so so sorry you are feeling like this. waiting for results and a treatment plan really is the worst bit and can feel absolutely overwhelming. Its probably very difficult to believe but you will feel better and more in control once you have all of your results and your doctors have a treatment plan to get rid of this horrible bloody cancer.  There are so many women on here who have been 2b and have had the treatment and are now fit and well and enjoying life!. Just know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal, don't beat yourself up too much about it, but please don't lose hope. The women on here are evidence of the fact that you can and will beat this! Is there anyone you can talk to? Do you have support from family and friends? keep in mind that there is a jobs trust helpline as well, where you can speak to people who have been affected by cc and understand. Sending lots of love and prayers xxx

Hi Melanie,

I was diagnosed 2b in 2010 and now clear from cancer - saw my oncologist last week ! I also had constant bleeding before I started treatment. The hardest bit is the waiting but as soon as you start treatment you will have a team of people looking after you.  The  bleeding stopped during treatment, it did not stop straightaway but it eventually did! 

There are many 2b survivors out there, they may not be so active on the forum nowadays but they are around.

i won't tell you to stop worrying as I used to feel like you 5 years ago but I what I can say is that when the consultant and/or oncologists say they are going for a cure, they mean it! 

 

stay strong and if you need us we are only one click away.

 

Big hugs,

 

Nx

So many ladies with lots of words of support.....it is so hard trying to look forward whe you don't know what stage your at.....constantly thinking the worst and that this horrible thing is going to beat you.....I hardly eat or sleep either and I'm constantly tired as my mind doesn't stop thinking.....I love reading all the lovely messages that everyone sends, it does give me s little bit of hope but I suppose I won't stop worrying until I know what stage I'm at and what treatment will be put into place!!!! 

Lots of love 

Kelly xx

Kelly I said the same thing to my doctor about not being up to date on smears and I'll tell u the same thing she told me... Don't blame urself, this is not ur fault at all. I hadn't had a smear in 14 years and was kicking myself over it but please don't blame urself.

Nicola x 

Thank you Nicola, that really means a lot, I blame myself everyday because I know this could have been picked up sooner if id been up to date with my routine smears!! 

But I guess I have to deal with that now and get in with it....and I will still blame myself!! :( xx

Kelliwoo, I know the blame game too... I had abnormal smears and at the last one I was told I would be on 6 monthly recall after a punch biopsy..That was 4 years ago!!

Anyway 4 weeks ago I finally went and had a smear...I had thought in my mind that the last one was all clear and that I was on a yearly recall ( not the case, 6 monthly! )...but for some Egghead, god darn it reason I got to busy, had no symtoms...felt great, life was going at a happy pace with my kids and work, moving house ... and a small voice in my head would pop up from time to time and say ..you better go get one and I didn't... So dumb in hindsight very dumb.

And then bang that brick wall was right in front of my face when the word cancer was given. Please try and not beat yourself up ... as you need all your energy to get better and to beat this. There will always be what if's... I should of's and why the hell didnt I!! Nows the time for saying and thinking I can beat this and be kind to yourself. I know that can be far harder than it sounds.

 

Anyway just wanted to wish you and Mel lots of love and luck

The doctor also said to me that it doesn't mean it's been lying dormant all that time,she says it's happened to people that have had there regular smear tests. But I still feel a tiny bit of guilt but i try to think that it could be something recent. What's also helped me is urging my friends to their smears done so far I've got 2 of my friends to get them done which makes me feel I've made a wee bit of a difference. 

But u shouldn't feel guilty and thinking but if i did this and did that. I just keep thinking they have caught it and I will get through it.

Try and think positive though,positive mental attitude goes a long way but u will get through this as we are all fighters.

Keep ur chin up.

Nicola x