Feeling very isolated

Hello all, I'm feeling very isolated and alone at the moment so thought I'd share here. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer nearly 3 years ago (I haven't got children) and had a hysterectomy. My husband and I were looking at surrogacy as an option and have been told it won't be possible for reasons I won't go in to here. So there are no options left to have a biological child of my own. I feel as if no one understands what I'm going through - a lot of my friends are having fertility issues but most of them are having success with IVF. Everyone around me is either pregnant, just had a baby or they've got options. It's not something I feel I can be honest about, because everyone is either pregnant or just had a baby! It hurts every minute of every day. No one seems to understand how difficult it is, but I thought some ladies on here might be in a similar position. My thoughts go out to you all x

Hello AB, I’ve just had my follow up meeting after CT and MRI, initially they thought I would need the surgery but radiochemo is now looking like the treatment plan. I am 37 years old and do not have children or a partner. I have watched lots of friends have children hoping I still had time..... it seems as if time has run out for me, I will not be able to have a child. I feel your pain, in solidarity. Xxx

Hi JMT, I'm so sorry for the late reply. I'm also so sorry to hear that this has happened to you, my heart goes out to you. Life feels so very unfair at times like this, when it feels as if everyone else is living their lives and you're being left behind. Please feel free to message me if you want to chat. Wishing you all the best for the rest of your treatment plan xxx

Hello, I understand you very well! My infertility is not caused by cancer, but there was no hope either. My son was born through surrogacy. It's hard to accept at first, but then, if you think about it and look for solution, you'll find it. In the Ukrainian clinic, which is called Feskov Human Reproduction Group, in addition to the surrogate mother, we were picked up an egg donor, which is very similar to me in appearance. Now, looking at the half-year-old baby, all friends say how much he looks like me)) Why don't you look at the donors? Science and medicine know how to perform real miracles in our wonderful times. Don't give up!


Hi anxious b, I just finished my treatment a month ago , chemo, radiation and brachytherapy. I feel like when I was doing treatment I didn’t really have much time to think about the loss of my fertility.but when treatment was over it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m 33 years old and never had children, I thought I still had quite a bit more time.i tried doing egg retreaval before treatment but the timing was off and I was only able to get 2 eggs out. My dr said the chances of them getting a embryo is pretty slim to none. I’ve been feeling pretty sad too and scared it’s going to hit me even harder in a couple years when I get older. It seems like quite a bit of people I know got preagnant this summer too, making me a little sad and jealous. I don’t like to feel this way because it just takes me back to the beginning again, being mad at myself for waiting 6 years to get a Pap from my last one.sometimes I think had I gone sooner maybe my life would be different. 

Hi, i hope youre doing okay.

i understand you dont want to get too much into things on here but i just wanted to say this, in case its any help.

i was a surrogate a couple of years ago and there are a few people on the groups im on, that have said that theyve initially been told that they would be unable to make embryos, making surrogacy a route they couldnt go down.

but after joining groups and talking to other people, they have since found it can be possible and they go on to have children through surrogacy.

one of my friends was told that her ovaries were so badly damaged that eggs could not be retrieved, but after, i think 3, different doctors doing tests and scans, she was told that she could get a few eggs retrieved from one ovary, with medication and under general anesthetic. she now has 2 beautiful boys through surrogacy and is just starting a third journey.

as long as one of you (you or your partner) are biologically linked to the embryos then surrogacy is definitely an option. 

i really hope you can find some hope. if i have learnt anything being on those surrogacy groups, its that miracles do happen.

good luck xxx

 Hi, my girlfriend (now wife) went through treatment late 2011/early 2012.. Now 7+ years all clear :)

I have to admit.. for her - accepting at 28 years old we would never have kids, was the hardest part! She went off social media as it seemed EVERYONE was having babies! (this helped). We've avoided family events and become distant with some friends so we didn't have to be in the middle of baby talk or being handed a new born for a cuddle..

For me - I'm just glad to have my wife fit and healthy and by my side.. we treat ourselves to nice things and a couple of holidays a year and make the most of our "care free" life.. I know there's many days she still hurts and I don't think that will ever go away.. BUT I also know - time is a great healer.

You're right though.. There's alot of people who don't understand. Some reply with "a friend at work tried IVF and it worked" or "you never know, it might still happen" or "sure you can just adopt" ... and those are the people you sometimes feel like shaking!

There's nothing I can say to make you feel better any quicker.. I'm not even sure why I logged in and started writing this.. but I do hope your good days outweigh the tough days!


PS.. we have 2 furbabies and we spoil them like kids.. you can lock them in a crate.. put a lead on them in public.. feed them once a day and they're always so pleased to see us :)