Feeling unattractive

I had a Pap smear in October come back abnormal, then found out the pathologist identified adenocarcinoma  my pap, then had colposcopy and tiasue samples, then cone biopsy, which I’m still healing from. 

My results look good at this point. They diagnosed adenocarcinoma in situ and moderate dysplasia but clear margins. I’m following up with a gyn-oncologist but my doctor doesn’t think I’ll need any further treatment.

The problem now is just wondering when I’ll feel normal again. Ever since I was told just that I had an abnormal pap I’ve been feeling just unattractive and like I can’t be intimate. My girlfriend gives me all the space but I cant be like this forever. This probably sounds horrible but basically I feel defective.

Hi Eliciayr, 

I am sorry to read you aren't feeling like yourself. It can be really hard to adjust after having cell changes (abnormalities) and so it is a time to be kind to yourself. We often say take time to do things that you enjoy and activities that make you feel more like yourself. 

All of us have different cervix and vagina no matter whether we have had treatment or not. As long as you feel ready to be intimate, there is nothing about you that anyone else would think is abnormal. It sounds like your girlfriend is being incredibly supportive, which is fantastic - keep talking to each other and hopefully this will help. If at any point you need some further support, speaking to your family doctor or gynae may also help.

With my best wishes,


Hi lovely,

I’m new on the forums. I’m a lesbian with high risk HPV and my head is a bit of a mess. 

It means a lot to me to know there are other WLW out there going through similar. 

I am so happy your prognosis is looking really good, and that you have your gf there to support you. 

You aren’t defective, and this feeling will pass xxxxx