Hi there, are any of you ladies online tonight to lend an ear and perhaps a little bit of reassurance/sympathy?
Tonight I'm feeling more emotional than usual for me (since I've been going through treatment) and feel as though I need someone to talk to who might know what I'm going through. In October I had my first smear, which came back as severe changes. In November I had my first colposcopy and LLETZ treatment. The results of this came back very quickly with cancerous cells in the centre of the biopsy. As the cells were in the centre the hospital seemed quite confident that they have caught it all but the outside of the biopsy was still showing abnormal cells so I had to be booked in for another round of LLETZ treatment. I had this on Thursday 27th and am now waiting for the results. By all accounts they are rushing this through for me and I should find out on Friday what the results are. We're hoping for clear margins and they seem quite confident. Up until now I have felt quite upbeat and confident that everything would be alright this time round (I had a gut feeling last time that something was wrong) but tonight it's all just got a little bit much for me and I'm starting to panic. If the results still come back abnormal I have no idea what the next step would be. I'm not sure I'd be able to cope with another 5 weeks of waiting for my cervix to heal before they can do anything else. I've read so many times people saying that the waiting is always the worst part and I expect that but has anyone got any words of encouragement or advice to stop me sitting here thinking about things over and over and having a cry? I don't think it helps that last time I had next to no pain afterwards and this time round I've not stopped with cramps and feeling lightheaded (maybe its the shock of them taking a larger area during the biopsy).
Im sorry if I've come across as pathetic or miserable in any way, I just needed to do something to stop me thinking all the time. Just a friendly chat would be enough if anyone can offer it :)