Hi there, are any of you ladies online tonight to lend an ear and perhaps a little bit of reassurance/sympathy?
Tonight I'm feeling more emotional than usual for me (since I've been going through treatment) and feel as though I need someone to talk to who might know what I'm going through. In October I had my first smear, which came back as severe changes. In November I had my first colposcopy and LLETZ treatment. The results of this came back very quickly with cancerous cells in the centre of the biopsy. As the cells were in the centre the hospital seemed quite confident that they have caught it all but the outside of the biopsy was still showing abnormal cells so I had to be booked in for another round of LLETZ treatment. I had this on Thursday 27th and am now waiting for the results. By all accounts they are rushing this through for me and I should find out on Friday what the results are. We're hoping for clear margins and they seem quite confident. Up until now I have felt quite upbeat and confident that everything would be alright this time round (I had a gut feeling last time that something was wrong) but tonight it's all just got a little bit much for me and I'm starting to panic. If the results still come back abnormal I have no idea what the next step would be. I'm not sure I'd be able to cope with another 5 weeks of waiting for my cervix to heal before they can do anything else. I've read so many times people saying that the waiting is always the worst part and I expect that but has anyone got any words of encouragement or advice to stop me sitting here thinking about things over and over and having a cry? I don't think it helps that last time I had next to no pain afterwards and this time round I've not stopped with cramps and feeling lightheaded (maybe its the shock of them taking a larger area during the biopsy).
Im sorry if I've come across as pathetic or miserable in any way, I just needed to do something to stop me thinking all the time. Just a friendly chat would be enough if anyone can offer it :)
so sorry you are struggling right now. Do you feel any better today? did you have a general anaesthetic for your lletz as this can also have an impact on how you feel physicllally and I felt whiped out after my lletz and I only had the one! Your body will be recovering from all that right now so just keep that in your head. Friday is not too long away now, so just mabe try and focus on something nice, maybe a shoping trip, lunch with friends, anything you enjoy if it practical. I was back at work within a couple of days and that did help me, but I knew to expect a long wait for my results so it wasnt an option not to be at work. Whatever happens, you will be able to cope with the support of family and friends but I'm sending you lots of positive vibes and hoping you get the outcome you want and no more treatment is required.
If you want to let off any steam feel free to pm me as I'm not great at following threads as cant get to grips with subscribing etc!!!
So sorry you are feeling so emotional and i am sorry to say i am not sure anything i say is gonna make you feel any better but just wanted to give you some cyber support and lotsa hugs xx
Waiting is definately the worst part and i can honestly say had me at meltdown point! How did i cope? Firstly i tried to keep occupied with unrelated things to try to forget my life was falling apart. Then i got busy organising my planned absence from work and shopped for new pyjamas etc for my impending hosp stay.
It all helped a little but quite honestly my head was battered with fear and impatience and my brave face was for my family:(( I spent many a sleepless night trying really hard not to let hubby know i was awake.
It sounds really positive for you the docs seem sure they will get clear margins and their confidence must give you hope and encouragement that all is being done for your best interests.
Unfortunaely for me i never got that positive vibe from my docs they were always clear and honest that clear margins were proving difficult so i am sure if that was the case for you they would have made it clear to you also.
Nothing i say will stop you worrying and sorry i cannot be more helpful but please remember nothing is ever as bad as the waiting and not knowing! Your instinct kicks in and you cope with far more than you would imagined you could .
Best of luck for Friday and let us know how you get on as you will have lots of empathy from the ladies on here
I think you've both got the right idea about keeping yourself occupied. I've had a few days off for New Year so maybe getting back to work tomorrow will make the last part of my wait a little easier. Kath, I'm the same at night, trying my best not to let my hubby know I'm still awake. I know friends and family would be as supportive as I need but sometimes it's easier to keep it to yourself than let everyone else worry too. I'm thankful I've found this forum as sometimes it helps to speak to people who understand and have had similar experiences. I'll let you know what happens on Friday.
