Feeling scared

I read on this and hear from people about cancer coming back I’ve got the hospital in October and I’m feeling very nearvous just incase they find something I just can’t help it feeling nearvous some people might just think I’m being silly but it is eating away at me

Hi  Leeanne I know how you feel. I didn't cope very well and I received a clear result. I had envisaged a worse case scenario so the only way was up. I can't tell you if anything helped. The only thing I hung onto was that there were the new immunotherapy drugs that could possibly save me if all else failed. I had gone from stage I to stage II to stage III so I wasn't hopeful and I still received the all clear. I love modern medicine. Just to let you know if the news is good it will probably take a long time to sink in after all the worry. My advice is to distract distract distract with a movie etc Good luck Jayne 

Hi Leanne :-)

Nice to see you back here but sorry about your fears. I think we all find the first few follow-ups a terrifying prospect. I remember being beside myself with fear. I had little black spots in front of my eyes I was so scared. I went for a CT scan and they found that the wall of my bladder was thickened and I really feared that that was it, I was done for. So I was sent to see a urologist who said 'Nah!, it's just a water infection' So that was a relief. I understand completely when you say it's eating away at you, and I know what a long wait it's going to be until October. It's very rare indeed that treatment hasn't worked and I hope you can take comfort from knowing that. I don't know what form your appointment will take but if it's a CT scan you might find it helpful to know that even perfectly healthy bodies that have never had cancer always have tiny little odd things going on inside which are perfectly harmless but do need to be investigated just in case. So try not to feel too wobbly if this happens to you. You are being watched like a hawk and your team are going to make absolutely sure that if this disease even thinks about returning they are going to be on top of it so fast it'll wish it hadn't.

Be lucky :-)

Hi Leanne,

Just want to commiserate with you and to tell you that you are not alone. I have recently developed a cough and my anxiety is really high. I have been keeping it to myself but it really helped when I shared my feelings with a friend. So let it out as it can get things in perspective. Good luck xx

I got a scan just when my brackatherapy finished and got the all clear this is a appointment with my oncologist and I did ask and she said next appointment would be a internal look just to make sure all is well 


"you are not alone!"

I'm not even done treatment and this is my worst fear. The question is.... How do we learn to live with this fear. Distraction helps but in a quiet moment it slips in, staying positive and talking to yourself logically saying not to worry, sure this also helps but again..... This fear sneaks its way into your mind. 

we constantly think, ahh I have to exercise or eat this or that... We read over and over articles or ways to keep cancer at bay... It's all so overwhelming and confusing and contradicting. Who do we listen to? What can we do? But.... There is no definite answer... We are left again with our fears. 

These thoughts they weigh heavily in our hearts, our minds are consumed. We want to tell our families or close ones but it's so difficult because we don't want to burden them. No one truly understands... So we come here, this place where we all know this struggle, we feel less alone and it truly helps. 

We are in this together!! We are all fighting this battle. There is no quick fix to this but anytime you need to say 

"I am scared " 

we are here to say

"you are not alone!!"

Hi Leanne

I am so sorry you feel like this.  I am 3 years gone now but remember those feelings so well.  I too was absolutely terrified that something else would be found and it would come back.  My consultant was very reasurring and told me that the majority don't have it come back and I just clung on to that.

Of course it is still in the back of my mind but as time as gone on the fears are not so intense.  It does get better with time, honest!  My trick to helping with the fears was to listen to relaxing and calming cd's, I really got into guided meditation and it helped tremendously.

Wishing you lots of luck for your appointment.

Hugs, Cheryl,xx

Thank-you and good luck to you on your recovery 

I remember that feeling,  but easier said than done,  try not to think about it to much , distract yourself if you if you can , I don't think the anxiety of it all ever goes away completely but I do think as time goes on you'll relax a little more ,  I hope your appointment goes well 



Ah Leeanne, 

I am completely with u on this. 

And Lolli, reading your words was like listening to my mind. 

Last night i broke down in front of my partner. I have had had mini meltdowns with him before but this was a belter, but still nothing as big as the ones on my own.i just cant / dont want to share the full fear.

I would say 95% of the time i am positive or try to be. But then there are those moments, sat alone, driving, washing up, in the shower, laid in bed when it becomes overwhelming & i cant breathe. I think it's unbearable & will drive me mad. It's suffocating.

But here i am...still sane, still breathing.

I'm.sure all of us feel this way. 

I think, what i'm trying to say is what we are dealing with is enormous & its natural to feel like this. Hopefully in time we will handle things even better than we do now. 

Man, Lolli said it much more eloquently.

Leeanne, you are not on your own here xxx 

Hi leanne. I have my first check up in 2 weeks time. I'm extremely nervious. I wasn't sure how to deal with the nerves, but I've changed my focus. I've become quite 'factual' about it. I know deep down it's not there and hasn't come back, but if something's not right, I'll just be focusing on the solution. All the suggestions here would work, I guess we need to just chosse which ones we think will work for ourselves. I listen to a Louise Hay healing meditation most nights and I won't eat processed food. This way I know know I've done everything in my own power to make it okay. I'm really scared, but just kind of 'block' it.  I have 4 young children and work full time so I'm kept very busy. I don't think it's silly at all. It's realistic. Hang in there. 

Abby. xx