My son (33) was hit by a car and passed away (Oct 12 2014)
Had arguments with my mother and then she got sick and I was out of town and lost her (they transfered her from one hospital to another and only told me she was relesed) I ended up putting her in a group home.
Found a lump about the size of a pea and got refurred to someone
My mother passed away (she was 94) the same time I found out I had cancer.
Had a radical hysterectomy and radio & chemo.
My daughter stayed with me while I had radio & chemo and come to stay with me at home (I was out of country when I did the stuff for cancer)
My husband was working. (someone has to pay the bills) Perhaps I should explain that he works in Nigeria and no body gets treaded here if they can go someplace else
My daughter went home yesterdasy. She was my constant companion for 3 months. Well she does have her own children.
Sometimes I feel my husband is insensitive. Today he said he wants a salad for dinner. That's nice. What will I eat. Still having trouble with fiber. (just started cooking vegg less)
He was wonderful in getting my daughter to me and taking care of things (poor guy, same time all this happened his 93 yr mother fell and broke 3 ribs. He went to take care of things with her for a couple weeks) Just sometines I feel he does not understand how I feel or that things he say hurt my feelings.
I am trying to take care of the side effects. Though some are easier then others. (like my ankes swell. but I put the socks on)
Right now I fell a bit lost and not sure about the next 5 years of doctor visits. Seems like things just kept going wrong this last year.
I am sure that the first anniversary of your son's death has been an incredibly difficult milestone to get past. I understand that parents often react very differently from one another to the death of a child, which can cause tension between the two of you quite apart from all the other stresses your whole family has had to face this last year. I hope you can all move forwards together from now on but I would like to say that I found counselling very helpful indeed. Some time after my treatment was completed and the next five years of follow-up tests loomed ahead off in the distance, as well as my relationship taking quite a serious wobble I sought counselling and I can promise you it's the very best thing I ever did. You are welcome to kvetch all you like here :-) but I think you will find that speaking with somebody trained to listen to kvetching will help you more :-)
Oh no I cried when I read your post I can't imaging how your still standing!! I too have finished my treatment and I am struggling with eating still and it's really annoying - I live on my own so I don't have anyone to cook for me although my mum helps me out on a almost daily basis which I can not thank her enough for.
I think you need to have an honest conversation with your husband and explain to him that the treatment maybe over but the side effects aren't and they're just as bad....I am suffering with extreme tiredness which I haven't had since my chemo I keep falling asleep and haven't been out for over a week because I have no energy. Sometimes people see that your "recovering" and doing things for yourself but they mistake this with the fact that your fine and don't realise it's taking all your strength and willpower to do that one activity. Going to the toilet is a mission for me so I've slept on the sofa as my loo is down stairs since I had my last treatment. You are also entitled to a Douglas mcmillan nurse who comes out to you and can help with pain management and could also give you some much needed advice - I also beleive that all that you have gone through taking to someone will help you as you sound like your taking steps back rather than forward and that's not good for you or your family - mainly you.
I hope you all the best and I hope things improve for you - I have had a way of thinking throughout my battle as mine is advanced and that is to be as positive as I possibly can it's bloody dam hard trust me! But it's helped me xx
