Hi Melanie :) much love to you, I have been following your other posts.......Yes its normal!!! Well its normal for me and I think you are maybe like me....I've been in turmol for the last 4 weeks. It's the Fear and it can feel out of control sometimes. I wish I could of been more stonger in my mind but this is my second biggest fear in my life- that I die from the big C !!..my first is that I might lose one of my children to something horrible. But it hasn't happened and its not going to for a long time :) Below are some suggestions that I tried to help ease and distract myself and remember your not alone in this. And so many people have beaten the big C and you can too.
First Breathe!...big slow, deep controlled breathing drawing the air right down deep and then letting it go and keep doing this at those hightened times of stress!.
Right now I know its hard to sleep...but sleep is what you need both physically and mentally. For me it was hard to get to sleep so I put head phones on and listened to youtube healing mediatations and focused on the sound in my ears which helped to mentally chase away those random fearful yucky non-stop thoughts until I drifted off to sleep. Lack of sleep makes things harder for you emotionally and for your body...which needs every once of goodness right now to help you to fight this battle and you CAN beat this!!!!!!
I'm a smoker :( but I of course started smoking even more. Grrrr. and I could not eat much. So I forced myself to eat a little and often if I could, lots of veg!! Healty drinks! I also took rescue remmdy when I needed it, which helped me at rough times.
It's hard for you as you have the bleeding to cope with as well which would make you worry more... but it wont be like this always...it will stop.
You need to find little things that help for you and take it one step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Your not alone and I'm sending you best wishes and lots of luck. My results have been good news so far but I still face having to have another operation soon- which scares me silly but all you can do... is say to yourself right now...is okay- I have this darn thing happening to me but you have a team of doctors and nurses and you are now on that converyer belt to wellness!!
Sleep and eat well if you can and cry or get anrgy or you may feel just numb at times, its all normal feelings and you just have to let them play out but do as little or as much as you can to get some calmness inbetween times to give yourself some breaks and kindeness.
Wishing you all the very best of luck xo