Feeling panic

Oh my lucky heavens! The Doctor has just called. Firstly I want to say this site has been such a help to me. And everyone who has been through this and is facing this- may you have many, many blessings and good things come your way. :)

I've been doing a little dance in my heart and all around the house. Yay. What a scary ride. Surgery is still a possible outcome. And I have a few questions about that and need to think that all through. Any advise and or suggestions, opinions would be most appreciated.

The doctor said that the pathologist reported that the cone biopsy- was difficult to interpret. They are getting a second opinion and consulting. She stated it looks to be severe pre-cancerous changes. The Doctor then stated she would like to meet with me in 2 weeks time and would like me to think about having a hysterectomy as a preventive measure. Right now I'm just going to take some time and process that....for now I'm just grateful to hear the words pre cancer :) 

( a little confused... How can you go from 2 smear tests saying andeocarinoma. Then punch biopsies -all clear? Then I get this cone result. Maybe I just shouldn't question it!!!)

I don't drink but tonight I'm going to have a glass of bubbly and also raise it to all the woman out there!




Yey! I hope you enjoyed your bubbbles on Fri :) ! Great news. Hope you're recovering well! xx


Thanks Rhi :) looking forward to hearing your good news in Nov with your review :)

Hi Melanie :) much love to you, I have been following your other posts.......Yes its normal!!! Well its normal for me and I think you are maybe like me....I've been in turmol for the last 4 weeks. It's the Fear and it can feel out of control sometimes. I wish I could of been more stonger in my mind but this is my second biggest fear in my life- that I die from the big C !!..my first is that I might lose one of my children to something horrible. But it hasn't happened and its not going to for a long time :) Below are some suggestions that I tried to help ease and distract myself and remember your not alone in this. And so many people have beaten the big C and you can too.

First Breathe!...big slow, deep controlled breathing drawing the air right down deep and then letting it go and keep doing this at those hightened times of stress!.

Right now I know its hard to sleep...but sleep is what you need both physically and mentally. For me it was hard to get to sleep so I put head phones on and listened to youtube healing mediatations and focused on the sound in my ears which helped to mentally chase away those random fearful yucky non-stop thoughts until I drifted off to sleep. Lack of sleep makes things harder for you emotionally and for your body...which needs every once of goodness right now to help you to fight this battle and you CAN beat this!!!!!!

I'm a smoker :( but I of course started smoking even more. Grrrr. and I could not eat much. So I forced myself to eat a little and often if I could, lots of veg!! Healty drinks! I also took rescue remmdy when I needed it, which helped me at rough times. 

It's hard for you as you have the bleeding to cope with as well which would make you worry more... but it wont be like this always...it will stop. 

You need to find little things that help for you and take it one step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Your not alone and I'm sending you best wishes and lots of luck. My results have been good news so far but I still face having to have another operation soon- which scares me silly but all you can do... is say to yourself right now...is okay- I have this darn thing happening to me but you have a team of doctors and nurses and you are now on that converyer belt to wellness!!

Sleep and eat well if you can and cry or get anrgy or you may feel just numb at times, its all normal feelings and you just have to let them play out but do as little or as much as you can to get some calmness inbetween times to give yourself some breaks and kindeness.

Wishing you all the very best of luck xo




Oh you poor thing!! Our minds do go crazy...well I SO know mine does haha. The bleeding will be driving you mad I would be just the same as you! There are lots of great ladies here who are a big help.... and they are here and ALIVE ( YAY ) and helping others get through this. Hang in there.

3 months is stressful. Scans are scary, well the waiting on results...but once you know What is What you then can plan and have a clear picture on the attack back and get in the better mode!!!! Coz you can beat this back!

I've been reading lots and I've heard some great stories out there..there are lots of good outcomes even with the darkest of news... but I think the one key thing is ..is to be kind to yourself and look after YOU and get lots of love and support.

X :) and thank you for all your posts as I've been reading them... they helped me as I felt relief that others feel like I do to...as sometimes I think am I just so crazy? To be feeling like this when others seem so strong and brave and I'm like the woman who is a mess and feel rotten all the time, when all you wish for is to be normal again ...which doesnt help as then I start beating myself up again thinking I'm being ridiclous but that is not true either ...we are all different and to be facing something like this is a HUGE fright and scare.

When are your scans?




Oh that's great you spoke to the nurse re the bleeding and they hopefully will get back to you soon and help get that sorted for you. Time does seem Endless and the waiting drags. Take it step by step. And i think its good that your having bloods done this morning, maybe talk with them re the bleeding and they can assist as well. Then you have Fridays scan and then Mondays scan. I will be thinking of you. I didn't know anemia was another sign... So that also will be draining on your body and your mind and all your emotions, plus the lack of a full nights sleep!

I once had an operation in 2001 and I lost so much blood... At the time I refused a blood transfusion as I wasn't going to die if i didnt have it. It took my body 6 to 8 weeks to recover from the loss of blood and build it up again. But it was so draining and I had no energy at all ( I felt like the walking dead ) you can feel dizzy as well. But that to will be causing a big toll on your emotions. I took iron tablets too as well as an iron tonic called floradix but I'm in new Zealand so I'm not sure if you can get it where you are.

Big hug to you